F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

Looking for Guts

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 16:24:18 GMT

What's longer? The length of a grown adult's intestines or the road trip to your evil, wizard boyfriend? Topics include real sour, jealous energy, when do you stop having sex, doing your own inside research, communicating with your wife via text.

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Michelle Obama's Biography

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 12:00:00 GMT

Oh, this? It's just my favourite book that I read from time to time to really get inspired, Michelle knows what she's doing! Topics include performative males, emotionally filling her cup, mommy back rubs, uneducated kinksters.

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Please Be Cool, John Cena

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 12:00:00 GMT

With the state of the world and, you know... everything, I don't think expecting John Cena to be cool is really that much to ask for. Topics include masturbating to your date's profile, chatty blowjobs, being attracted to women, but not liking them, and dampening the clapping of cheeks.

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Give Your Date a Brick

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:47:12 GMT

Forget flowers, forget chocolates. What every woman wants is a good, old fashioned, red brick. Topics include committing to the brick bit, proving your masculinity, old love, cake for an ex.

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Inside Inside the Manosphere

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 15:05:56 GMT

We sit down in the Sleepless Studios here in Toronto to do a special deep-dive into the new documentary Inside the Manosphere.

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Irish Men Getting RUINED

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 15:16:04 GMT

I don't know why I need to say it, but if you have to go to the bathroom... then go to the bathroom. WAIT! But actually use a toilet! Topics include a go-anywhere kinda dad, keeping the back arched, bad bathroom idea, how do I know if she liked it?

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Sperm of the Moment

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 18:36:16 GMT

More like Carpe Deez Nuts, right? Am I right, guys? Deez nuts? That's still funny right? Topics include cab fare, too weak for missionary, leaving Raul out of it, sex recovery day.

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Chemistry So Hot, They Must Be Related

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 17:52:26 GMT

I'm starting to get the step-sibling trend in porn now... it's the only way they could get the chemistry that sexy! Topics include I love you and also I never want to see you again, embarrassing oral, treat her like your little sister, unrealistic dating standards.

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Metroid Ball Blowjob

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 18:56:06 GMT

It's an absolute miracle that this episode exists considering all of the technical difficulties we suffering while recording. So, you know, really enjoy this one.

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Ask the Roblox Children

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 18:31:34 GMT

We're always bragging about our great advice, but have you ever thought of where it REALLY comes from? Topics include never nude, definitely not premature ejaculation, the dating experts lied.

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Public Foot Oiling

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Next time you're out at a bar, I want you to look around and try to guess how many people are actively participating in their kink and/or a sex act. Have fun! Topics include exclusivity test, public vibrator outing, eating the peach, and the hand not closing the deal.

NOTE: Also, we apologize, but due to a scheduling conflict we had to postpone our live show! We're really bummed and very sorry!

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Tiktok Made Me Do It

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

It doesn't matter what stupid idea your teenage brain comes up with, you can always blame Tiktok. Topics include breaking beds, size comparisons, being a sleepy guy, and feelin' weird about feet.

Support the show and get more content: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Reversible Undies

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 17:04:55 GMT

Everyone knows that underwear resets in freshness every day if it's worn inside out. Topics include the sleepiness men must fight, swinging in a situationship, keeping the drawers fresh, ejaculate volume.

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Sexy JK Simmons Cosplay

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 18:36:21 GMT

BRING ME MORE (SEXY) PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN! Topics include the sneaking suspicion of dishonesty, the effects of emotions on sexual stamina, making your girlfriend more kinky, and position practice.

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No Sex in the Mole Zone

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Please, for the love of God, if you listen to ANY of our advice: do not put soil inside you. It's dirt. It's literal dirt. Topics include abandonment issues, cuddle boners, focusing on yourself is a lie, holy mole-y.

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Divorce Encouragers

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 19:12:39 GMT

Before you marry that man you literally just met, please know that you have our full and enthusiastic support to divorce him.

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Surprisingly Slick with Werewolf Nut

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 17:06:11 GMT

Happy 2026! Dain promises he won't make any bold statements about this year considering how last year went with... you know. Everything. Topics include the guilt of being a sex machine, basic biology, unexpected rimjob, navigating a kinky new partner.

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Dragon Pouch

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 17:49:29 GMT

I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out.

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Blue Balls Are a Liberal Hoax

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 13:00:00 GMT

Studies have been done by all the top science research places: blue balls are an entirely made up thing. Don't try to argue with us, argue with SCIENCE. Topics include team building in the worst way possible, deck the halls with balls of blue, breast reduction woes.

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Pull Her Head Off (Sub-Zero Style)

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 13:00:00 GMT

Dain's New Year's Resolution is to stop suggesting that performing Mortal Kombat fatalities is a solution to your problems. Topics include dude, where's my car? The important of ball play, a pre-exclusivity fling, and bringing a cool vibe to a sex party.

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The "What Do You Mean?" Theory

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 13:10:00 GMT

It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simple question: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! Learn how to embrace bravery and become the master of your own destiny by asking: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

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My $1200 First Date

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 17:26:45 GMT

If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment. Topics include how to hunt down your set up, blowjob pains, a very expensive first date, to use hands or not to use hands.

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Fart Promises

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 13:00:00 GMT

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual due to technical difficulties and Dain being bad at math. Topics include missing the giant hint, getting to the sex phase, deciding to break wind or a promise, and the value of rough oral sex.

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Mr. Beast's Guillotine Games

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 19:31:04 GMT

It's time once again to beg at the Altar of Beast in order to be thrown just enough scraps to continue our meager existence. Topics include a beastly missed opportunity, creating a safe sexual environment, budget conscious condoms, the boy ain't alright.

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Baby Butthole Boy

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 19:34:33 GMT

Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love. Topics include post sex shit-tests, long tongue but bad technique, a shaved butthole, irritated over old nudes.

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The Worst Mr. Big

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 19:50:59 GMT

You know that feeling when you hear a song and then you make that whole song your personality for awhile? Maybe be a little more discerning with what song you're choosing...

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Getting the Juices Flowing

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 16:45:24 GMT

Better start wearing a raincoat whenever you see me out in public because when I'm holding a hand... NOBODY IS SAFE. Topics include how to be mysterious in the age of social media, playing dead, a damp pant situation, when to transition to casual dates.

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I Hate My Stupid, Secret Son

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 17:30:04 GMT

Don't you hate it when your stupid kid just exists and totally blows up your spot? Topics include pirate re-population, sex inhibiting breast size, a surprise son, date burn out.

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Ziploc Sex Kit

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 17:25:26 GMT

There is nothing sex about a Ziploc bag... UNLESS it's one of those ones with the slidey-closer thing. Those ones are HOT. Topics include oral hygiene wake up call, celibate Tinder match, get your ex back with no contact, preparing your sex baggie.

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From the Vault: Netflix and Chill - My Fault / Culpa Mia

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 16:37:55 GMT

Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My Fault.

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A Walk to Remember Situation

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 17:07:55 GMT

There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation. Topics include contractually obligated angry sex, impatient partner, never split the party, when do you know.

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How to Re-Jizz Your Jizz

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Lock and load has never been a more gross turn of phrase. Topics include the clean vs dirty debate, if he wanted to: he would, recording your dates for AI approval, a ghost tale as old as time.

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Dr. Goon, Penis MD

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 16:46:44 GMT

Unfortunately, Dr. Goon is all booked up for appointments for the next month. I can refer you to another Penis MD, if you'd like. Topics include date ideas for the broken armed, refusing to sleep in a sex stained bed, did you sleep with Dead Greg, and turning physical attraction into love.

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Bartenders Know You Suck At Dating

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 12:00:00 GMT

This week we go off script and give you dating advice based on the grim things we've seen as bartenders and servers.

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Tactical Wake Up

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 20:04:15 GMT

RPG!!!!

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Sleepy Time Clit Sucker

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 12:00:00 GMT

If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't. Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new masturbation technique, channeling your inner Moody, and pity sex.

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The Snapchat Implications

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 17:28:24 GMT

If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless. That should explain everything. Topics include using Snapchat as a cold-call dating app, the mystery behind two hour sessions, info dumped on the Tea app, and being a starfish.

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Lemme See That Hog, Bestie!

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 12:00:00 GMT

I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right? Right? Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutification, constructing the perfect text to ask him out, drunken genital requests, dating when you're a trainwreck.

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Al-Qaeda's Favourite Music Venue

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 18:29:21 GMT

Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene. Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram story, asking someone out who isn't responding, can you just live your life without cold approaching.

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Episode 354 - Spanish on the Streets, English in the Sheets

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 12:00:00 GMT

If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me. I have a wide range of available makes and models. Topics include staging a doggy photoshoot, taking pictures as a man, when sexy banter turns into a linguistic car crash, I love you too soon.

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Episode 353 - Wieners, Bats and Wiimotes

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 12:00:00 GMT

If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered. Topics include some much needed positivity, painful hickeys, dating misconceptions.

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Episode 352 - Never Let an Erection Get in the Way of a Magic Trick

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 12:12:00 GMT

Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon. Topics include how to make your relationship disappear, the wandering eye that is actually pretty stationary, skipping lay day on first dates, and a Tinder profile 2000 swipes in the making.

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Episode 351 - The Unproblematic Music of Smooth Dave Shelves

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 15:56:32 GMT

Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer! Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes, an ass maneuver, catching the bouquet just to drop the mildest joke.

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Episode 350 - Gay Dracula (Pride Special with Tim Lagman and Trevor Campbell)

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 12:00:00 GMT

We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep! Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs.

Listen to Trevor on Queerial!
Listen to Tim on Sex Ed with Tim!

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Episode 349 - Rest in Hell, Peter Steele

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D. Topics include tearing and texting, bringing up the snip, altar to an asshole, treat your dick pics like food bloggers.

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Episode 348 - COVID Dog Tail Dick

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 17:29:32 GMT

Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured? Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, the unending erection, not trying to get laid on a first date, and hole preference.

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 347 - Exorcist Eye Contact

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 17:16:09 GMT

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine! Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact.

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Episode 346 - Troll Time on the Cum-Clock

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 17:09:42 GMT

When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home. Topics include sexual performance under scrutiny in front of family, voyeur baiting, co-worker rejection, the loneliness epidemic.

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Episode 345 - Podcaster Murder Forest

Mon, 26 May 2025 15:49:49 GMT

Just try to stump us, we dare you! Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends rom-com arc, unacceptable sluttiness.

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Episode 344 - The Stick and Stay Technique

Mon, 19 May 2025 17:09:55 GMT

DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN! Topics include dating teenagers as an adult, statuesque sex, oopsie poopsie, judgmental friends.

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Episode 343 - A Cummings Worth of Piss

Mon, 12 May 2025 12:00:00 GMT

In this episode we go into great detail that arcane secrets you must comprehend and master in order to pee just enough to make someone think it's jizz. Topics include semen Houdini, difference between sex and making love, a racially charged kink, hooking up after the break up.

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Episode 342 - Mall Bath

Mon, 05 May 2025 16:59:22 GMT

In this laser focused episode, we don't go on a single tangent and stay on topic the entire time. Topics include literal trust falls, no rhythm, the dog training method, how to use someone you're already using.

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Episode 341 - Gooner Dad Fads

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 17:31:54 GMT

For all you deviant dads out there, be sure to smash that like and subscribe button to keep up to date on all your gooner gags. Topics include a suspicious dad profile picture, dude looks like a lady, Android-based ick, don't be afraid to catch feelings.

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Episode 340 - Achilles Reel

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Time to crank one out before the season ends, boys. WE WILL NOT FINISH IN BRONZE. Topics include a real stinker of a husband, should I stay or should I go, eye roll emojis in an argument, and doing the bare minimum.

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Episode 339 - Mambo #69

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 12:00:00 GMT

The only time cyberbullying is acceptable is against Kevin Sorbo. Topics include the first love is the strongest, is he just trying to smash, neighbourly love, and DISAPPOINTED.

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Episode 338 - Bedroom Rock Bottom

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 12:00:00 GMT

Put this episode on your Facebook shortcuts because you're going to want to come back to it. Topics include secret sniffing, breaking her, Facebook's top five, defective pubic hair.

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Episode 337 - Quiet 5.5, An 8.5 is Talking

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 12:00:00 GMT

If you're not blasting this episode in public through a speaker backpack, I don't think you even really care about us. Topics include he doesn't know he just broke up with me, new pussy problems, forced to hang out with her ex, my ex is telling me no.

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Episode 336 - Dinosaurs are a Liberal Hoax

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 12:00:00 GMT

If I can't see, I don't believe it and I ain't NEVER seen a dolphin! Topics include not quittin' the gym, sharing sex problems publicly, my not so smart boyfriend, a dead libido rises again.

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Episode 335 - Dry Me Up, Baby

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 16:26:22 GMT

Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place and I can get you reaaaaal dry. Topics include the games of young women, a whispered suggestion, fake boob reveal, alcohol is more than a social lubricant.

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Episode 334 - Rolex Madness

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 18:02:54 GMT

Men are throwing themselves into traffic, smashing windows with their faces, tearing out their own hair. It can only be one thing: ROLEX MADNESS. Topics include my husband's AI girlfriend, wearing a Rolex on a date, financial deceit, overthinking for overthinking's sake.

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Episode 333 - The First Male True Crime Podcast

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 13:00:00 GMT

In this episode we laugh so hard we have to stop the show. Topics include the perfect murder, not holding up your end of the love triangle, preventing poop dick, and an unforgettable blowjob.

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Episode 332 - Homes or Homo (feat Sex Ed with Tim)

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 20:29:05 GMT

This week we're joined by fellow Canadian Podcast Award winning host, Tim Lagman. Tim brings an assortment of questions from his listeners to the boys as well as a new and exciting game: Home or Homos!

Check out Sex Ed with Tim!

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Episode 331 - Coffee and a Long Blowjob

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 23:52:38 GMT

In this week's episode we come across the wildest office coffee order list we've ever seen. Topics include settling for anything less than magnetic magic, a girlfriend that really likes to show off (everything), lurkin' in the manga section, husband's weird, secret list.

Come see us perform live! Feb. 20th, Black Sheep, Toronto. Tickets available here!

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Episode 330 - Pavlov's Wife

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 19:14:13 GMT

The hottest craze is using archaic psychological manipulation trends on your wife. Topics include OnlyFans safety, finding the right bell for your wife, recording your conversations, disrespecting your dead husband.

Come see us perform live! Feb. 20th, Black Sheep, Toronto. Tickets available here!

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Episode 329 - Make 'Em Horny, Make 'Em Fighty

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 13:00:00 GMT

Now "put 'em up" can mean two very different things AT THE SAME TIME. Topics include brother-in-law sex jealous, ED is A-OK, asking out your wife's affair's ex, ball management.

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Episode 328 - Hey Man, Nice Weiner!

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 18:34:25 GMT

I'm looking back over the show notes and I've just got to say I'm really pissed that I didn't say Upsetti Forgetti for the first question which confuses even me because it doesn't mean anything. Topics include an upsetting way to be remembered, pre-move in question checklist, desire cannot be described, first date impatience.

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Episode 327 - Affection Erection

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 13:00:00 GMT

If any other famous dude would just like to come out and let us know that they suck, it would save us all a lot of time. Topics include love boners, oral entertainment, secret boudoir shoot, Hinge date weariness.

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Episode 326 - Dain Needs Help on Uncomfortable Chair

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 00:03:06 GMT

Niall has debuts a new segment that will have you wondering what people are actually interested in jerking off to. Topics include are you being a pussy, doggystyle not looking the way you want it to, being a gentle womanizer and never finding THE ONE.

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Episode 325 - A Yard in the Testical Division

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 18:55:29 GMT

No one will ever know how important a millimeter is! Topics include libido mismatch, the problem with showering, the group chat conspiracy, finding your Kia Soulmate.

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Episode 324 - 2024 Year in Review

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 16:54:18 GMT

Our annual year in review episode is usually reserved for Patreon, but we forgot that and recorded it as a normal episode, so here you go! We look back at our year as a podcast, dating trends on Tinder and Pornhub wrapped.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 323 - Obsessenheimer

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 20:03:23 GMT

Dain had a rough day, but there's nothing like getting in the closet and seeing how bad everyone else is doing. Topics include if they say they wanna bang, do they really wanna bang, desperate to kiss your best friend, post nut clarity denial, only watching Oppenheimer.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 322 - Quantum Mom and the Impossible Architecture

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 13:00:00 GMT

How can ever wall be a window? How can a balcony be a room? How can mom be EVERYWHERE. Topics include situationship penis fracture, the ever-present mother, irresistible shirtless dad, stripping away insecurity.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 321 - Teach Her the Gropes

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 13:00:00 GMT

Sometimes you just need a mentor to guide you through the more complicated matters in life. Topics include keeping your car freshly stocked with crusty rags, terrible sexting strategies, how to work on that arch, wet dream loophole.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 320 - From the Vault: Tony Pizza (Part 2)

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 17:35:20 GMT

You probably remember when we got really side-tracked by the legend of Tony Pizza. Well, we didn't stop at just one episode. We had a lot more to say on the topic. Niall was in Mexico this week and the live show we wanted to release got corrupted, so we're cracking open the vault and sharing this unhinged episode just for you.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 319 - Slurpin' Balls In Your Mouth

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 13:00:00 GMT

Literally every delicious food could be made into a dick or balls. Are we supposed to starve?! Topics include shivering her timbers, boba is sus, cheating on your girlfriend before cheating on No Nut November, and how to train your girlfriend.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 318 - Winnie the Fool

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 18:01:15 GMT

Everything is okay if you film it. Topics include sharing your feelings, when she fucks you up, a soft "I hate you", making her mine.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 317 - 10 Things I Hate About You (Birthday Edition)

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 17:46:57 GMT

Everything sucks, but we made this for you anyway.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 316 - Voidgina

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 13:00:00 GMT

We don't think John Cena was trying to be sexy when he hit Dain really hard with a sledgehammer, but maybe we just don't know what the kids are into these days. Topics include upping your red flag game, ex-girlfriend ruining sex, second class girlfriend and the voidgina.

Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 315 - Sherlock Holmes & Wetson

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 12:00:00 GMT

See that little joke in the title there, Spotify? Wouldn't you like MORE of that? Just hit us up. We won't blow you off for some lame camp thing. Topics include jerking it when she's around, finger lickin' (real) good, the classic money trap, losing that lovin' feeling.

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Episode 314 - Toy Story 5

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:46:53 GMT

Ol' Walt is a real freak for this one. That slinky dog really gets put through it. Topics include being eaten alive by the prospect of threesomes, sexual support stuffy, marriage ending threesome, degradation play without the play.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Get tickets to our next live show October 29th: https://www.fbuddiespodcast.com/liveshows

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Episode 313 - Vape Is Just A Steam Room For Your Mouth

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 17:04:03 GMT

Oh, you have a room in your house that gets really hot and steamy? That's cool. I've got a room in my body called my lungs that I blast with vapor 24/7. Topics include irreversible post nut clarity, safe sex discussion, how to de-cling yourself, look what she's wearing.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Get tickets to our next live show October 29th: https://www.fbuddiespodcast.com/liveshows

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Episode 312 - Butter Fingies

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 16:23:01 GMT

Don't you hate it when you're trying to think of an absolutely devastating comeback, but it comes to you like... two days later in the shower? Now that's what we need a time machine for. Topics include defending your pink honour, wanting good sex bad, stealth ring measuring techniques, between round awkwardness.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 311 - Massive, Not Masculine

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 12:00:00 GMT

I can't help but look down at my balls every now and then and think, "Sure, you're massive. But are you masculine?" Topics include rated below her ex for best orgasms, a four year sex sabbatical, how to impress hundreds of women, a well endowed girlfriend.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 310 - My Boyfriend's Volcano Ears

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 12:00:00 GMT

If someone could just Shrek-style pull all the wax out of my ears, that would be very kick ass. Topics include waterboarding your ears, stalking masturbation, donating your wedding dress, and erectile terror.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 309 - RIP Hulk Hogan

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 17:21:51 GMT

Hulkamania will not longer be running wild. Topics include throwing up a whole bunch, a poop-inducing scare, where does oral happen, a rough ex-perience.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 308 - Bring Your Brother To Your Nudes

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 20:02:28 GMT

The only way to ensure that you're not about to be blackmailed is simply by including your brother (or sister!) in your nudes for safety. Topics include bringing your sibling on a date, your mind's telling you no, but her body is telling you yes, blackmail tactics, keeping your lube secret.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 307 - Boner Is Sports Mode

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 18:13:12 GMT

I don't think we SHOULD compare the human body to form of Crocs, but if we DID... then I think it's VERY obviously what our sport mode would be. Topics include girlfriend's cartoon sex noises, how to feel a flaccid penis, creampie boundaries, a disturbing kink preference.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 306 - How Low Can Men Go?

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 18:25:13 GMT

Get out the shovels, boys! Let's bring this bar straight to hell! Topics include how low can the bar go, pulling a meatloaf, getting sweaty at the gym for all the wrong reasons, is your labia and innie or an outie?

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 305 - Happy Penis Video

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 16:52:00 GMT

That baby is just TOO FLIRTY to be sending all willy-nilly. We're doing a rare remote record this week, but we're back with a hot and fresh episode!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 304 - Intimate Evenings: My Sickly, Victorian Husband (Live @ The Black Sheep)

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 23:14:11 GMT

We're still recovering from GenCon and catching up on missing a week of our lives to Indianapolis, so here's our most recent live show at Black Sheep!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 303 - Intimate Evenings: How to Tell if You're Circumcised (Live @ Camp Halcyon)

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 17:14:10 GMT

This summer we got the amazing chance to head out into the woods and perform for the kick-ass campers at Camp Halcyon. And since we were both away at GenCon all week, we figured now would be the best time to share just a fraction of the fun to be had at camp.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Go on your own camp adventure: https://www.camphalcyon.com/

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Episode 302 - Take the Puss to Mouth Town

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 18:05:16 GMT

Listen, Greg. You can keep making your funny little piss jokes and I'll be forced to ruin your life or you can just chill. You make the call. Topics include falling on the piss sword, toothy blowjobs, canine companion challenges, lick my balls (respectfully).

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 301 - Transformer? I Hardly Know Her!

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 19:10:23 GMT

We can all agree that there is some man-child out there who is 100% responsible for naming these stupid magic robots. Topics include sexting ruining your life, unremorseful dick breaking, one person casual sex.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 300 - Meat Two-bes & Meet Two-ties

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 16:52:26 GMT

We celebrate our unbroken streak of 300 episodes by returning to where it all started. Join us for an episode of introspection, disappointing sodas and the advice you've come to love.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 299 - Intimate Evenings: Dry Kongs (Pride Special w/ Trevor Campbell Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 16:02:13 GMT

We celebrate Pride month at Black Sheep with the incredibly funny Trevor Campbell, host of You Made Me Queer!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies
Find Trevor here: https://www.trevorcampbell.ca/ymmq/

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Episode 298 - Non-Consensual Office Staring Contest

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 12:00:00 GMT

If you catch them looking at you because you were looking at them then can you even be upset? Topics include interesting animal encounters while dating, indulging your foot fetish, weeding out on your first date, and appreciating those heavy boobs.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 297 - The Complete Glossary of Horny Aliens

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 17:54:59 GMT

If someone told me that a children's cartoon had the most complete list of sexually deviant aliens... yeah, I'd probably believe them. Topics include Ben 10 recovery, that negative accent, complimenting or criticizing thicc-ness, exhibitionism for dummies.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 296 - Peeking Over the Balls

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 18:24:13 GMT

New self mode just dropped, y'all. Get those balls in half eclipse! Topics include plastic bag break up, post-sex sex show, weirdly obsessed sister, morning routine (sex version).

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 295 - Intimate Evenings: Godspeed, Scooter Man (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 12:00:00 GMT

We're on vacation in New York, so here is our most recent live show at Black Sheep!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 294 - A Comprehensive List of the Most Recent Popstar Beef

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 12:00:00 GMT

This is now just a show about all the hottest popstar beef and we're okay with that. Topics include Dain's heartbreaking celebrity wake up call, how to date with a busy schedule, vegan break up obligations, too intimate for a hook up, cream pie conundrum, a friendly penis grab.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Pillow Talk How-To Series #1: Going Out (Patreon Preview)

Mon, 27 May 2024 16:24:57 GMT

We're absolutely swamped preparing for our show in New York next week, so we thought it would be a perfect time to release the new Patreon format for public preview! We've been asked for a long time to do long-form, single topic episodes, so... ask and ye shall receive! Every month we'll pick a topic and discuss so that if you're ever searching for specific advice, you don't have to search through hundreds of episodes. We hope you enjoy!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 293 - Intimate Evenings: Pitbull Sound Bath (Live @ The Black Sheep)

Mon, 20 May 2024 15:49:41 GMT

Dain was away all last week, so here's our live show from last month!

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 292 - So Much Pre-Cum

Mon, 13 May 2024 15:26:00 GMT

We've talked about filling a shot glass before, but I'm starting to think we're going to need a bigger glass. Topics include reverse catfish, an ejaculation performance, a bad naked reaction, a phone call cuss out.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 291 - The Great Water Rejection

Mon, 06 May 2024 15:40:08 GMT

After surviving the harrowing attack last week, we've returned to the scene of the crime to reclaim our space and peace of mind. Topics include scooping two ladies from the club, kung fu rejection, no longer being the family's favourite, a knockout blowjob, a pegging punch.

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Episode 290 - Men vs Bee(?)

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 12:00:00 GMT

At a specific point in this episode, you may think: "Weird, they didn't edit this part out." I want to make it VERY clear that I left it in intentionally so that you could all here what we go through to make this show for you. Also, so you can see how cool and tough we are in the face of mortal danger. Topics include the graveyard shift at the the club, getting over great sex, what is her DEAL, and red flag assessment.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 289 - Good Puss

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 12:00:00 GMT

You've really gotta know what scene I'm talking about. You know? With Adam Driver? And he's eating the soup? It's from that show. Come on. You gotta know. Topics include breaking out of a bad dating cycle, after sex text, getting rid of your smart look.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 288 - Don't Burn Down Your Sex House

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 15:26:11 GMT

We're back in fine form and actually answering questions this week, so get in here and get educated/entertained! Topics include ungrateful Roman holiday, a successful sexual funk, moving too quickly with a hug, toxic bedroom expectations.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 287 - In Defense of Travis Kelce

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 18:04:33 GMT

This episode is the literal definition of "Go off king!" because a) we don't answer a single question and b) this is our FIRST unedited episode. We all adore Taylor Swift, but sometimes our big, strong football boy needs love too.

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Episode 286 - Insert Funny Taylor Swift Reference Here

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 17:58:11 GMT

Don't be fooled by the title, y'all. This is still a good episode, but man, it would have been SO GOOD if we could have made some banger T-Swift references. Topics include who keeps the concert tickets, reasonable set of standards, breaking up for the dumbest reason and diagnosing a kink.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 285 - My Wife's Loose Five

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 20:59:14 GMT

This month has been insanely busy for us! But we're back in the closet and getting strange updates and e-mails that are a little too specific? Topics include stand-up salvation, getting over the cuck life, reducing the amount of topping and emotionless sex.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Flure App: Made for Pleasure - https://www.flure.com/

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Episode 284 - Intimate Evenings: My Girlfriend The Sock (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:47:01 GMT

This weekend was a wild one performing at Comicon, so we're taking a wee break to recover by sharing our latest live show at Black Sheep! Topics include the least flattering way to describe your girlfriend, enjoying video games with the boys too much, International Women's Day preparations, weighing the power dynamics of a new relationship and more!

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 283 - The Goofing Hour

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Oh, gowrsh! We're thinking of renaming the show F-hyuck Buddies. Topics include not getting walked home, boyfriend gangbang, to be or not to be (single), ribbed for his pleasure.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Flure App: Made for Pleasure - https://www.flure.com/

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Episode 282 - Intimate Evenings: Peter Pan Syndrome feat. 30 Going on 13 (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:00:00 GMT

We mark our special one year anniversary of doing live shows at Black Sheep by inviting our lawfully wedded podwives, Liv and Maddy, from the award-winning show 30 Going on 13, to join us on stage for an extra long, extra chaotic special!

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Episode 281 - Tony Pizza

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 18:08:09 GMT

I hope you're ready for a deep dish serving of Tony Pizza lore. Topics include nickname game strong, cheating cruise, sitting in the corner, watching you dance with him (whoa-oa-oa), drunk gay me.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Flure App: Made for Pleasure - https://www.flure.com/

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Episode 280 - Boner Danger Zone

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 13:00:00 GMT

I don't care if you're a princess or a puppy, you can have all of the parts. Topics include disrespecting your girlfriend's culture with your boner, ripping the band-aid of virginity off, fake scheme boyfriend, saying things you're not really into.

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Episode 279 - It's Okay, I've Seen Fight Club

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 13:00:00 GMT

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Taylor Swift may be causing global warming by flying her private jet from Superbowl to Superbowl, but we're here to teach you how to make out so well that people will be calling you Taylor Shift. Topics include a weird response to "I miss you," how to date a bad kisser, teaching your son pick up and getting a hall pass.

Visit this week's sponsor:
Flure Dating: Made for Pleasure - https://flure.com

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Episode 278 - Worst Breakfast for Anal (feat. TherapyJeff)

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 13:00:00 GMT

This week's episode is a banger! We're joined by the amazing Jeff Guenther, LPC, (aka TherapyJeff on Tiktok and Instagram) to answer your questions and ask the age old question of what the worst early morning meal would be to prep for a conversation about butt stuff. Topics include your money pit of a girlfriend, talking about bed stuff outside the bedroom, grief and dating, opening your marriage to polyamory.

Check out TherapyJeff and pre-order his book Big Dating Energy at https://www.therapyjeff.com/ and find him on social media as TherapyJeff.

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Episode 277 - Everyone Needs a Work Wife

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 01:31:58 GMT

This went up late because Dain is incredibly sick and forgot what day it is, so if you want a recap: too bad. Listen to the episode and find out yourself. Also, send Dain soup.

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Episode 276 - The Vagenie

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:00:00 GMT

I'm not entirely sure if he grants any wishes, but, lemme tell you, there's one very easy way you grant his. Topics include Niall's mean era, getting so obviously scammed, reservations about hitting it raw, cold approaching, too many options may kill this man.

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Episode 275 - Big If True

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 17:32:39 GMT

This episode will actually change your life and make you a million dollars and give you abs and make your celebrity crush fall in love with you... big if true. Topics include bad gift uno reverse, the icky downstairs, roommate forehead kisses, lying about your job, the worst way to ask someone out.

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Episode 274 - Mexican Third Date

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 18:46:10 GMT

Listen, if your mom isn't going on our romantic destination third date, I'm not interested. Topics include escalating your dates too quickly, banging the band, asexual expectations, suggesting anal.

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Episode 273 - License to Creep

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 17:09:39 GMT

Did our messed up recording schedule result in us completely forgetting that this episode would be released on New Year's Day? Absolutely. Topics include being a shy boy, a boob job for his boobs, being creepier on request, and your wife's date sabotage.

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Episode 272 - If You’re Poor, Curfew For Sure

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 13:00:00 GMT

We're just two sleepy lil guys doing their best. Topics include funeral crashing, have girlfriend now, girlfriend curfew, husband's threesome tastes, exiled to the couch, getting 500 Days of Summer'd.

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Episode 271 - One Lip and Tongue Sucking Technique

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 13:00:00 GMT

We've finally recovered from our weekend in Philly, so here's a hot and fresh new episode. This was recorded earlier this month, so if we talk about stuff that's already past... ignore it. We're all adults here. Topics include one position finish, a divisive red flag, nocturnal emissions, airport seduction, preparing the splash zone, sucking to success.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 270 - Intimate Evenings: Swinger’s Trust Fall (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 22:37:18 GMT

We're still getting our lives together from PAX Unplugged in Philly last week, so please enjoy another extra long episode courtesy of our live shows at Black Sheep in Toronto.

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Episode 269 - Intimate Evenings: Dain’s Birthday Show (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 13:00:00 GMT

This month's live show at Black Sheep was to celebrate Dain's birthday and our universal love of Italian cuisine.

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Episode 268 - Big Balls, Even Larger Boxes

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 13:00:00 GMT

Every now and then Dain tries to say something profound but Niall's childish mind gets in the way and ruins everything. Topics include UTI break-up, sex after death, first date roast beef, the mysterious bump, back peddling on exclusivity.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 267 - Your Mom’s Tinder Radius

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 00:31:09 GMT

We've recorded so many episodes in the past few weeks that I'm starting to lose sense of what time even means anymore. Topics include short-term long-distance, learning to beg for it, the attractiveness of your own apartment, eye contact correction, de-normalize the nipple, nosy neighbours or noisy neighbours.

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Episode 266 - The U2 Movement

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 21:19:18 GMT

Before the was Me Too, we had U2 and we still didn't learn anything about consent. Usually this is where Dain recaps the episode, but he had one too many adult beverages at a work party last night and is hungover, so it's time to take a chance and see what the episode is about for yourself like a real adult.

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Episode 265 - Women Are Humans (Because They Are)

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 20:43:49 GMT

If we could all just treat women like actual people (because they are) then I think we'd solve a lot of problems since women are people (like, actual people). Topics include furniture jealousy, butt aggression, miserable dating outlook, developing our own red flag Tinder profile.

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Episode 264 - The Straight Cardboard Side

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 17:53:12 GMT

At this point in time, we actually have no idea if we're straight or not anymore. Topics include TikTok date shaming, dark and twisted fantasies, keeping in contact with past fuck buddies, admitting to being a serial cheater, accidentally making friends with women and becoming a good person and also maybe becoming gay.

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Episode 263 - Top Tier Dain

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 17:08:31 GMT

It doesn't matter what your feminine energy is, this Dain is ALWAYS top tier. Topics include a good reason to not sleep over, when can you ask to hook up again, should you date a racist stalker, light side and dark side feminine energy, stockpiling your nudes.

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Episode 262 - Doja Horse

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

If you like human to animal ratio math, you're gonna love this one, gang! Topics include acting shady about saying your name, how to react to sensitive information, how many kitty pics is too many, sex with a sickly Victorian boy, a cool car lunch date, riding to the finish.

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 261 - A Fool’s Embrace

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 17:56:04 GMT

Y'all, I introduce a brand new game in this episode that I still don't know the rules to, but sorry to any Teagan's out there. Topics include feeling more makes you cum faster, pre-text message dating, stopping mid-sex, getting serious in order to get busy, getting bored after getting yours, dump the freeloader, a game that I play.

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Episode 260 - Stick Up Pick Up

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:00:00 GMT

NOBODY MOVE! If you do exactly what we say and listen to this brand new episode, no one needs to get hurt... Nobody be a hero. Topics include a wet mistake that you could never learn from, missing the whole hole, artfully dropping your number, a pushy vagina, how to heist her heart, the face is not a chair, getting bro-zoned.

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Episode 259 - The Shot Glass Experiment

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 13:00:00 GMT

All we're saying is that it seems like it's not a LOT of volume and we'd be curious to see how much we could fill a shot glass. Topics include a hilarious wedding day prank, custom animated porn, feeling used in modern dating, medically qualifying how much is a lot.

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Episode 258 - Act Like Jimmy Neutron Dresses

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 16:41:34 GMT

Some people just can't handle the Neutron style. Topics include calling off the benefits with a friends with benefits, pre-mature ejaculation and modern media, unsaved number suspicions, how to cast Zone of Friendship, location sharing and when to do it.

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Episode 257 - The Soonity of Ben Stilleritis

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 17:53:39 GMT

I'm sorry, babe. I'm not trying to karate chop you in the ribs... it's this damn disease! Topics include the sexual history with her dude friends, clumsy boyfriend or horrible person, too soon for "what are we", DIY frustrations, Burning Man sex plane and the mysteries of the future.

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Episode 256 - I’m Gonna ”Watch” a ”Movie”

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

If anyone "needs" me, I'll be "going" to do some "groceries" because I'm feeling a little "hungry." Topics include a toothbrush truth bust, how hard that head get, not allowed to break up, not getting enough sex, Netflix and chill... but like... bad, proving you're absolutely not fun.

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Episode 255 - Intimate Evenings - McSteamy Flower Shop

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 23:25:39 GMT

Apologies for the late upload this week, y'all! But we were at Fan Expo all weekend and our brains are fried, so here's the live show we did at Black Sheep at the beginning of the month.

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Episode 254 - Uncle Steve’s Play Place

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

You've got three months to find your own place, Greg. Or else you're going to see your uncle do some things you never want to see your uncle do. Topics include re-evaluating your standards, fear of gagging, incredibly bad post-natal impulse control, no love without phone call, embarrassed of your uncle's sex dungeon, the solution to online dating and the longest dating profile we've EVER read.

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Episode 253 - Busting Guys and Frenulums

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

If you're going to tell me a joke or have sex with me, I beg you... please be gentle. My gut and my frenulum are prone to busting. Topics include the inevitability of being cheated on, catching feelings is a no, bringing a plus one on a date, the masturbation danger, the fragility of the banjo string, roleplay 101, not ready for a relationship (with you).

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Episode 252 - Beat Up Your Dad

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 17:15:17 GMT

Your dad ever get so noisy a nasty farmer just wants to chop off his hands? Topics include pre-marital handholding, hot tub sex machine, literally no way to meet women, a check-in with an old friend, surprise striptease.

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Episode 251 - Nothing You Can Do for Dick

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 22:50:38 GMT

Sorry for the latest upload of our career, but I just got back from a bachelor party and I don't need to explain myself. Topics include a hopeless romantic encounter, how to escalate into rough sex, the trouble being too hot, Jonah Hill's ridiculous demands, recovering from death grip.

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Episode 250 - Chokeslam Break-Up

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

I swear to God, if you ever destroy a sentimental gift, I will break up with you so hard that Jim Ross will call you and shout, "BAH GAWD! He's busted that relationship in half!" Topics include date night, but make it oppressive, a stealthy miscommunication, a persistent friend, how to find your groove, the literally severing of bonds.

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Episode 249 - Adventures with the Hatman

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Plug your nose, y'all! This may be our stinkiest episode ever. Topics include stinky feminists, when finishes too fast, vaginal gag reflex, penial gag reflex, jealous of your sexy dreams, the sneaky hand finish.

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Episode 248 - 2 Hot, 2 Shirtless

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 12:00:00 GMT

NOTE: As of right now, our show is sold out already. You're monsters and we love you. We're working on getting more seats in the venue.

It's too hot to write a damn description. You figure it out.

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Episode 247 - Wedge Me, Mommy

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 18:37:47 GMT

Did everyone get their permission slips signed for the field trip to the mall where we can harass women one at a time with shitty pick up lines? Topics include a cold reception to cold approaching, the terrifying nature of a penis, an unexpected happy ending, gangbanging your way out of marriage.

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Episode 246 - Pre-Sex Tea

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 18:18:29 GMT

Put on the kettle and then wait. Then pour a cup and wait. Then blow on it a little and wait. Then drink the drink. Now you can have sex. Topics include struggling with belts, the Night Rider, how to prepare for sex, a new dating and some deep dating profile revisions.

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Episode 245 - I Live My Life a Quarter Foreskin at a Time

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 17:03:12 GMT

I never really thought that wiping my own ass would give me such an advantage, but here we are. Topics include sleeping with your hot boss, gay napkin usage, underground circumcision ring, being jealous of 100% of the world, disappointing two women at once, landlord Grindr check.

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Episode 244 - Protect Trans People

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Happy Pride Month, y'all. As much as Pride is a celebration, it's also a moment to reflect and educate ourselves on the hardships our queer friends and family are facing. There is currently almost 500 anti-LGBT laws being tracked in the US alone. This Pride Month, let's focus on adding our voices to those that fight against this oppression and systemic discrimination.

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Episode 243- Milk That Mystery Cow

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Is this a new episode or is this actually the oldest episode? WHAT A TWIST! Topics include new friend ban, erecting the tiniest statue, last minute cancellation policy, a question with a twist no one will see coming, how to crowd a dance floor in twenty minutes, a new spin on the Tinder game.

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Episode 242 - A Ride for the 1.3%

Mon, 29 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

We're back, baby! Niall's finally returned, so we're back in the closet bringing you another fresh episode. Topics include teaching an old dog new tricks, blowjob trauma, stealthy snack stealing, emotional overload after sex, the things women do for safety, drug trouble.

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Episode 241 - Intimate Evenings: Kinky Grandma (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 22 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Niall was STILL away on his stupid cruise this week, so here's our last live episode where we spend probably too much time talking about rural landmarks. We return to our regular schedule next week!

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Episode 240 - Intimate Evenings: VERY NICE! (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 15 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Can you believe Niall is STILL on a cruise? Good thing we recorded a bunch of live shows for your enjoyment. Recorded in March live at Black Sheep.

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Episode 239 - Intimate Evenings: Not Bad for February (Live @ Black Sheep)

Mon, 08 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Niall is away on a vacation cruising around Europe, so this is the perfect chance to release our first set of shows recorded live at Black Sheep.

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Episode 238 - A Taste of Pussy Pie

Mon, 01 May 2023 12:00:00 GMT

It's a civil war over on this episode as one of the Buddies gets a tasty of the forbidden pie and turns his back on the podcast. Topics include the LeBron James of not having sex, a tidy bed surprise, the yeast infection insanity loop, keeping your shows safe from your partner, moaning as a man.

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Episode 237 - Dain’s Cultural Roots

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 17:29:36 GMT

Nothing is Dain's fault and he will not apologize for anything on his journey to understand and connect with his deep cultural roots. Topics include obsolete pick-up techniques, the stigma of STIs and navigating relationships with positivity, indulging in degradation play.

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Episode 236 - Queef Theory

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 17:05:05 GMT

1 out of 2 doctors recommend listening to this with headphones so that you can hear it over the sound of your bones being smashed. Topics include not having the right gym badges for Tinder, playing the Uno queef reverse card, phone code clean up, the science of floor sex, post break up Instagram wipe.

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Episode 235 - A Pubic Inch

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 12:00:00 GMT

There's going to be a part in this episode where Dain gives you an instruction to do something "no matter where you are" and we'd just like to say that in hindsight, it might matter a little bit where you are. Topics include the relationship equivalent of a pit filled with blades, avoiding fatherhood in the worst way, first date precautions, shouting affirmations at your genitals, a simple birthday request.

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Episode 234 - We’re All Big Idiots

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 15:51:31 GMT

We're all doing our best out here, but at the end of the day we're all just big idiots doing a bad job. Topics include moving in with your partner makes you a pussy, risky and frisky in the classroom, revenge is the only answer, solving the foreplay puzzle, closure in confusion.

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Episode 233 - Badly and Weirdly

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

How do you like to eat a lollipop? Do you just crunch it or do you put your tongue outside of your mouth? Topics include a very expensive first date, a slippery condom situation, lying about your age, small mouth/large penis, keeping dating apps for writing material, cuckolding without a third party, making love over hooking up.

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Patreon Feed Drop - Fury of a Thousand Tongues

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

This week was absolutely insane with our live show and being at Comicon all week, so we decided we'd treat you all to one of the bonus Pillow Talk episodes from our patreon!

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Episode 232 - My Husband’s Secret Cool Friend

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 12:00:00 GMT

I'll give you anything you want... even these really awesome sunglasses. Just don't show my family how cool you are. Topics include cooking up validation, needing alcohol to feel frisky, getting jacked for your big girlfriend, safety tips for casual sex, suspicious sunglasses secrets.

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Episode 231 - Morphsuit Contraceptive

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 13:00:00 GMT

If you idiots keep naming your kids almost exactly like your name, you can't blame me when I accidentally send you a bright green gimp suit. Topics include the serious commitment of meal prepping, sex tape swap, retroactive anime jealousy, using a sex toy vs being used as a sex toy, sex toys for dad.

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Episode 230 - At Your Poopiest

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 13:00:00 GMT

If you're about 5'2" and have boobs AND a butt, I'd love to hear from you. Topics include sex preference waiver, abortion fund, too fat for Wednesday, hair loss hardships, how to silence your butt, if it walks like a misogynist and talks like a misogynist... and Tinders!

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Episode 229 - A Visible Amount of Piss

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 13:00:00 GMT

There's only one thing I want when I confront my ex and it's just a tiny puddle for everyone to see. Topics include surviving period rage, thrust issues, reaching the climax, how to confront your ex, an intimate sibling evening.

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Episode 228 - Seeking Hot Panera Managers

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 13:00:00 GMT

We're not ones to push conspiracy theories, but has anyone ever actually gone inside of a Panera? Topics include retaliation vomit, a long overdue check in, bed time routine trouble, the correlation between sex and dating potential, Panera is a liberal hoax.

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Episode 227 - Still Don’t Change Your Guns

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 13:00:00 GMT

Have we finally found the stinky zombie car crash boyfriend? We may never know. Topics include no sex till dating, an all-day tease-a-thon, strong candidate for most garbage human of the year, first time struggles, anti-vax ick, Niall reinstates Dain's hangover.

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Episode 226 - Stop Answering Our Questions

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 13:00:00 GMT

I'm sorry that we didn't make it clear sooner, but when we ask a question on the show it is intended to be rhetorical. Topics include increasing your luck stat, our secret is revealed, when it feels too good, fine dining meal ticket, leaving the past where it belongs, postpartum pal problems.

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Episode 225 - Stephanie, Come Get Your Boyfriend

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 13:00:00 GMT

If you get real desperate for a date, I highly recommend you swing by the Wal-Mart boyfriend lost and found. Topics include labeling what belongs to you, AirPod espionage, afraid to add sex into the perfect relationship stew, body shaming dynamics, assuming you're dating a Chill Guy™.

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Episode 224 - Your Sister’s Porny Exploits

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 13:00:00 GMT

While Niall deals with an out-of-body experience due to cold meds, I'll just be over here trying to be Willem Dafoe. Topics include forcing someone to hurt your feelings, sexually competing with your sister, rough sex method acting, surprise third wheel, your partner's red flag future boss, quiet and creepy.

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Episode 223 - Niall and Dain’s Dark Desires

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 13:00:00 GMT

If I pass you on the street and you're holding something... just know: I thought about it. Topics include resolutions and setting yourself up for success, good girl/bad girlfriend, not okay with "are you okay?", not bailing when booty called and old timey Tinders!

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Episode 222 - Year of the Air Fryer

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 20:57:37 GMT

I'm sure a lot is going to happen in 2023 or whatever, but nothing will be more important than Dain getting an air fryer. Topics include taking things slow and casual, blurring out your friends on Tinder, jealous of your partner's online attention, learning to dominate your wife.

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Episode 221 - Sexmas Spectacular 2022

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 18:21:25 GMT

Did we lose track of time and forget to do a Sexmas episode or is Sexmas whenever we want it to be? Topics include Dain settles the Die Hard debate, stinky laundry pick-up, porn and sex addiction, analingus scrub down, carding your date, stubborn spousal gift giving, having your crush called out, expecting a romcom answer.

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Episode 220 - Step Outta Your Own Ass

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 17:47:05 GMT

If anyone needs me, I'll be hanging with my mom for the next three weeks. Topics include your boyfriend's cool horse friend, ex's engagement effect, kept under lock and key, how to not ask for a woman's number, get me cheating, got you cheating, not being as cool as your boyfriend's mom, a confusing text.

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Episode 219 - The Posture Prince of Cumshire

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 17:16:56 GMT

Welcome to our city of Toronto fancast where we talk about our favourite city instead of helping you. Topics include regrets of key giving, masturbation efficacy, cuckolding gone wrong, when to cancel a date, hot girl phase, My Fair Lady (2022 Remake).

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Episode 218 - Chuck E Cheese’s Sleepy Chicken

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 19:45:16 GMT

It's not included in any of the party packages, but if you find the right suspicious looking kid, he'll hook you up. Topics include constant cheating accusations, no sex two weeks before meeting, really hot bully, a childish first date, sibling only birthday dinner, tired of talking...forever, caught condomless, suspicious co-worker, and cracking jokes about cheating.

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Episode 217 - Go Read a Book!

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 13:00:00 GMT

Hey, idiot! Are you bad at dishes? Go read a book. Can't solve complicated math problems? READ A BOOK! Topics include underground platonic cuddle group, how to know if your date went well, underage Grindr extraction, a cold first experience, requiring a trip to the sex library.

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Episode 216 - Nutsgiving

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 13:00:00 GMT

While you cautiously store your nuts for a later date, why not consider giving away nuts for other people? Topics include No Nut November, hurting for a squirting, seeking that post nut clarity, Dain's optimistic prediction, just date your friends with benefits.

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Episode 215 - The Award Winning Episode

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 17:25:37 GMT

We won a gosh dang Canadian Podcast Award, so I'm not going to write a description today because I'm drunk on power!

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Episode 214 - Boner Suppression

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 17:12:48 GMT

Does anyone know if the babysitter from Crazy, Stupid Love gets arrested for literally sending porn to a child? Topics include controlling your boner with sheer force of will, being sent a screenshot of your own texts, adopting jealousy, spooky spider situations, stopping the flow of nudes, leaving the shire out of sex, how to stop your absolutely shitty roommates from ruining Netflix and chill.

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Episode 213 - #SaveManhunt

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 15:57:47 GMT

That's right, ladies. You sit there... sipping your lemonades while men continue to suffer at the hands of society. Topics include a jet setting affair, sentimental nude stash, personifying your manhood, the allure of tearing off clothing, the historical significant of that tangy yellow juice, the best you ever had.

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Episode 212 - Stinky Rear Window

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 19:30:39 GMT

Take it from me, a renowned dog/man trainer, the stinkier the window, the better the lesson. Topics include the completely made up and imaginary female orgasm, the male desire to feel special, the woman in the window, are you a homewrecker or just friends with a woman, the sleepiest and horniest man alive and, of course, more Tindies.

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Episode 211 - The Queen’s Gambutt

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Yes, it's finally here. The joke that transcended time and space to earn us any and all award nominations we have and ever will earn. Topics include cheating form behind, the pros and cons of a pro and con list, lesbian porn stealing your girlfriend, when you break up and do a very bad job at it, getting what you ask for and hating it, the good, the bad and the uglyhot.

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Episode 210 - Exclusive Invite To The Right Stuff

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 17:44:40 GMT

Get your favourite liberal lies and insurrection conspiracy theories ready, y'all, it's time to muddy the dating pool! Topics include revisiting Canada's sex worker laws, the right's hottest new dating app, navigating busy schedules, being seduced into removing a condom, first date with li'l baby Tate, how not to approach older women on Tinder.

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Episode 209 - Completing Your Bootédex

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 14:18:46 GMT

He wants to gaze upon your cheeks like no one ever has. The peep them is his real test, to rim them is his cause. Topics include what's good for the butthole is good for the gander, closure for children, dealing with the challenges of modern online dating, how to take charge, walking the fine line between friends or something more.

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Episode 208 - Wanna Be My Step-Mom?

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 16:11:37 GMT

You may not know this, ma'am, but step-moms are REALLY big with kids my age these days. Topics include creepy ways to pick up older women, who should buy the condoms, resenting your partner for losing your 20s, accepting a date invite as a friend, don't invite Wild Card Dave over, securing more blowjobs.

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Episode 207 - Time Is A Circle

Mon, 19 Sep 2022 12:00:00 GMT

I don't want to blow your mind, but this isn't a new episode because you have, at some point in time, listened to it and therefore it's an old episode, but right now... it's brand new. Topics include losing interest in women, cutting ties for your mental health, debunking shit tests, having your intelligence insulted online, abusing the power of a broken arm, guessing you have rules about porn.

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Episode 206 - Cbat Outta Hell

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 18:04:22 GMT

Cbat has official graduated from best boner jam to my new warlord anthem so that I can achieve my true potential. Topics include the origin and mystery of Cbat by Hudson Mohawke, a perfect guide how to not approach kinks, the importance of the first "C" in "CNC", covering up your 4 inch lie, using outing someone as blackmail, parsing very easy to understand messages.

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Episode 205 - God’s Biggest Mistake

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 12:00:00 GMT

I think we can all agree that humans are definitely filled with flaws, but there is one design choice on men that is absolutely just a real swing and a miss. Topics include the persuasive ability of your past sexual conquests, a sexy picture with an unwanted addition, a primo Doubtfire situation, where the dickmeat goes, the trouble a nocturnal penis lands you in, when is it okay to vent to your friends.

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Episode 204 - The Gamertag Detective

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 18:17:55 GMT

If I Googled your teenage gamertag, what shocking horrors would I find? Topics include the unfair standards of women in politics, the truth that hides within her gamertag, red flags based on attractiveness, how rise above being a ugly and broke and letting Mr. Potato Head do the talking for you on your dating profile.

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Episode 203 - The Mayo Special

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 22:39:59 GMT

Slather yourself with your own juices, y'all! We're heading to Applebees! Topics include top secret special technique, towing the line between sweet and creepy when it comes to gifts, how to be good alone, dodging debt, why nice guys don't finish last.

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Episode 202 - Gwyneth’s True Name

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 12:00:00 GMT

We accidentally spoke an unspeakable evil into this world and we apologize for the coming emergence of the end times. Topics include what makes good sex, being attracted to other people while in a relationship, Goop's true intentions, what happened to Jessica Alba, Pitbull trivia, the secret words that make women horny.

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Episode 201 - What Women Twant

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Vote for us as People's Choice in the Canadian Podcast Awards: https://canpodawards.ca/vote/peoples-choice/

We're coming down off that Episode 200 high and we're back to business as usual. Topics include a new breed of oral sex, navigating the fear of pregnancy and sex, marathon sex where no one wants to run the marathon, cockblocked by Jesus, how not to handle rejection.

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Episode 200 - Dick Bong

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 17:51:10 GMT

Vote for us as People's Choice in the Canadian Podcast Awards: https://canpodawards.ca/vote/peoples-choice/

We done did it for real this time, y'all. 200 episodes. 200 hours. 200 jokes about genitalia and slandering celebrities. Topics include a retrospective on Episode 1, Dain's famous bits, a terrible safe sex option, collecting digits in the 6ix and a relationship saboteur.

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Episode 199 - Is THAT Dildo?!

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 14:00:00 GMT

You can only choose one thing... a Tinder account or a safe granny. Topics include best friend relationship revelations, the pressure to pursue romance, DIY inception, an unexpected and unwelcomed threesome surprise, pretending like you've never been to Mordor.

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Episode 198 - The Rummage Technique

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 16:09:21 GMT

I like to get both hands in there and really get the lay of the land. Topics include escort confessions, coming to terms with your ugly genes, a coked out second date, girlfriend getaway insecurities, TikTok penis ridicule and more Tindies to finish us off.

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Episode 197 - Doesn’t Matter, Had Chili’s

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20

Look, I know it's tough living in a world where Pokemon don't actually exist, but woman are not an acceptable substitution. Topics include traveler's guide to dating at Chili's, when gaming friends get more attention than you do, being punished for falling into a trap, how to properly DTR, a real life Pokedex for real life women, and, of course, more Tinders.

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Episode 196 - Don’t Change Your Guns

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20

I don't want to spoil too much, but this week we have a very famous guest stop by or maybe Dain's just working on his cool Kermit impression. Topics include Roe v Wade protest pick-up strategies, taking time or making moves after a break up, Niall's hard stance of sitting beside your date, worrying about how your sex looks, catching your partner in a social media lie, Ted Mosby in real life, making requests that suit your sexual requirements and, of course, more Tinders.

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Episode 195 - Summer Sex Toy-A-Palooza 2: Electric Bugaloo

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20

The fine folks over at LoveHoney have hit your boys up again for another spectacular episode regarding all things sex toys! Topics include sloppy, sneaky dildo usage, sex toy safety, vibrator jealousy and insecurities, breaking out of pandemic vibrator monotony, choosing the perfect sex toy with your partner, a potato baby update and advocating for sex toys being used the way they're meant to be.

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Episode 194 - Summer Sex Toy-A-Palooza

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 17:43:18 GMT

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20

This week we're talking all things sex toys thanks to our friends over at LoveHoney. Topics include choosing a vibrator over sex, requiring toys to get the big O, discrete toy purchases, the perfect solution to spicing up a long distance relationship, using toys to meet your sexual needs in a relationship and the ethics of using toys with multiple partners.

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Episode 193 - Potato Baby

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 19:23:20 GMT

Don't ever talk to me or my potato son again. Topics what preparation style best suits your child's potato-esque qualities, where did all the gentle lovers go, Harry Styles first date bankruptcy, building up exes to be impossible comparisons, overstepping your neighbourly boundaries and, of course, Tinders.

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Episode 192 - Slam Down Donger

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 13:00:00 GMT

Happy Pride Month, y'all! I'm strongly considering changing my name to Potato. Topics include a very steep ask, going down and throwing up, a real Stacy's mom situation, an interesting thought experiment, being jealousy with a man you're not fond of, the fine details of asking for a hook-up and, of course, a new batch of Tinders.

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Episode 191 - It’s About Damn Time

Mon, 30 May 2022 14:00:00 GMT

Dain is fighting allergies and Niall sounds like just ate some gravel, so let's do it. Topics include a teeny-weenie bikini meltdown-eenie, a Pillow Talk game makes its main feed debut, club-going hypocrisy, talking about the coolest cartridge based technology, one night stand safety tips, getting over initial hurt to deal with the problem at hand.

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Episode 190 - James McAvoy Strikes Back

Mon, 23 May 2022 16:26:11 GMT

This episode contains a revelation that will absolutely make you see hell. Topics include marrying the wrong royalty, choosing who takes your virginity, embracing your past and sharing it with your partner, a new red flag litmus test, James McAvoy is back at it again and, as always, more Tindies.

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Episode 189 - Gym Shrinkage

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:00:00 GMT

This might be, like... totally random, but would you like to watch this completely irrelevant documentary about why a penis might be small after a workout? Topics include pet pee problem, the important of consent in consensual non-consent, working out so hard it makes your dick small, repelling intimate behaviour, lying about your location and a new slew of Tinders.

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Episode 188 - Protect Roe v Wade

Mon, 09 May 2022 16:57:00 GMT

This episode we have a very serious chat about some very serious things. Topics include the importance of Roe v Wade, navigating your relationship with showers in your relationship, how to avoid disappointing your partner sexually, blowjob confidence and Tinders.

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Episode 187 - Wield the Perfect Penis

Mon, 02 May 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Imagine the absolute power you would if your penis was always... perfect. Topics include not even knowing if you're in a hole or not, marital status as relating to creampies, catching the ick, coping with past traumas, triggers and partners that don't understand them, and as usual a WHOLE slew of Tinders to round us out.

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Episode 186 - Bear, Bath and Below

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 12:00:00 GMT

With the current state of the world, sometimes a man's just gotta grab his shovel and dig a real sweet hole. Topics include tunneling away from your problems, is bad sex a deal breaker, not being ready to date, catching your husband masturbating, knowing when to pursue a relationship or a foursome and so many new Tinders.

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Episode 185 - Jack Nasty Face

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Hey baby, I'd love to slam my twiddlehonker into your butterfly contraption apparatus. Topics include ye olde genitalia guessing game, the m'lady curse, vaginal uniqueness, how to squander the best chance you have at the most dramatic moment in your life, dating while short and a completely uncooperative partner.

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Episode 184 - The Under Clothes Condom

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 13:00:00 GMT

It doesn't matter what you think, if you're not wearing a condom, you're not fully dressed. Topics include the politics of staying over, addressing racial fetishization, the audacity of unavailability, having and being a big dick, an easy way to get kicked out of your apartment and condom preparedness.

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Episode 183 - The Man Who Never Knew Jealousy

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 12:00:00 GMT

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies?fan_landing=true

We cannot beg you enough: do not watch Turning Red. There isn't a single Jesus in it. Topics include weight gain during marriage, a forgettable anal experience, navigating the line between consent and nerves, the lifelong curse of an ugly face, the crushing look of your partner's pleasure at the hands of another man and more dating profiles!

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Episode 182 - New Year’s Eve AMA (Special Pillow Talk Patreon Preview)

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 13:00:00 GMT

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies?fan_landing=true

This week we're giving you a special peek at what goes on over on our Patreon. As we announced last week, if we reach 25 total patrons, we'll do a live show! So, enjoy this special episode from New Year's Eve.

"Happy New Year! Say farewell to 2021 and say hello to 2022, the year where nothing can go wrong. This episode is a bit different as we answer all your questions about everything from favourite sex positions to what we smell like."

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Episode 181 - Anal Mom (Part II)

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 17:53:42 GMT

We didn't know we'd ever return to Anal Mom, but here we are. Topics include condom purchase assumptions, getting caught sneaking in the back door, requesting sexual ratings, how to know if you've been cheated on enough, the existence of soulmates, unexpected booty pics and a new batch of Tinders.

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Episode 180 - Elden Ring Daily Wordle

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 14:00:00 GMT

You should be extra grateful for this one, y'all, we actually stopped playing Elden Ring just to record it. Topics include Elden Ring cockblock, cowgirl tips for bigger ladies, how to Inception a woman into being interesting, focusing on yourself during sex, a secret KFC update, sexy singles island, self esteem and dating profiles and Tindies!

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Episode 179 - My Girlfriend’s Secret KFC

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 14:00:00 GMT

I'm very sorry, Mr. Murray, I didn't mean to slander you. Topics include Niall's terrifying crow trivia, anal-safe condoms, a sexual history PowerPoint, using other senses as a means for arousal, the cuckification of oral sex, encouraging your partner to reciprocate, your girlfriend's mysterious hole and more Tinders.

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Episode 178 - Train to Tiddytown

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 15:00:00 GMT

All aboard! If the topic has already come up, you've got a one-way ticket to Titty Town! Topics include protecting our LGBT youth, when it's appropriate to add a crush to social media, campus creeper, surviving the first five minutes of a first date, lying about your virginity, unnecessary and controlling transparency in relationships, and, of course, a new slew of Tindies.

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Episode 177 - Tooth Pervert

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 15:00:00 GMT

At least if you date a tooth pervert, there's a good chance you'll have plenty of change for the bus. Topics include the importance of context, your partner's secret apartment, dating an ex-friend's ex, processing the jealousy of your partner's new hobby, dating with weird music tastes, men don't owe you sex, insecurity about your not-so pearly whites, a fast-food folly.

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Episode 176 - The Shrink Shift

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 15:00:00 GMT

Ah jeez. Just looked at my schedule and I'm working the shrink shift four times this week... those women are animals. Topics include how long do you have to kick it before someone will date you, taking your first steps into exhibitionism, a career ending decade old one night stand, letting him down easy after moving too fast, a spicy mother-daughter connection, hooking up at work when there's an age gap, what it means when the neighbours hate her.

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Episode 175 - Neutral Treadmill Territory

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 15:00:00 GMT

The game has changed and they only thing we need to start playing is more 'roids! Topics include what to do when you see a cute pic of the person you're dating, open season on Treadmill Woman, coming to terms with your partner's sexual past, rejection via unfollowing, changing your dating mindset, indicators of a person's "body count" and, of course, a fresh batch of profiles to review.

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Episode 174 - Erection Stealth 101

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 15:00:00 GMT

It's Tumbler 2's favourite podcast back again with another episode that the kids just CANNOT get enough of. Topics include the best way to prevent and hide your incredible erection, sexually escalating too quickly, parsing exactly what it means to be a simp, escaping a toxic friendship before it's too late and more of those sweet dating profiles you love.

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Episode 173 - The Most Expensive Apology

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 15:00:00 GMT

If you listen to this episode, I'm super mad at you and you totally owe me a few thousand dollars. Topics include when the vibes don't lie, uninvited exercise encouragement, underage Instagram models, a $15,000 mistake, how to move forward after discovering a partner's past trauma, erectile difficulties and ghosting.

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Episode 172 - Premarital Scat Play

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 15:00:00 GMT

When you're about to propose and life gives you lemonade maybe also ask for some chocolate? Topics include eating your engagement ring, how to last multiple rounds in bed, using song lyrics to pick up women, post-oral beard clean up, The Game but for women and, as usual, a new batch of dating profiles.

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Episode 171 - Syrup or Lube?

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 15:00:00 GMT

Every man has a secret, powerful syrup that imbibes him with a power beyond mortal comprehension. Topics include how many rejections should you take before giving up and dying alone, a really stupid trip to the zoo, the date worthiness of the spookiest profession, an angry ex interruption, the potency of your boyfriend's magical syrup, processing the guilt and shame of an STI, succumbing to jealousy instead of logic and quite possibly the worst batch of dating profiles we've had.

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FEED DROP: Session 1 - Trouble³ (Part I)

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 19:20:35 GMT

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com

We begin our adventure deep in the space of the Casa-Mal system as the crew of The Maverick investigates a missing fellow TVRN, The Nightcrawler. What should be a simple contract turns to chaos and offers more questions than answers. Durrin recovers a relic of his past. Merrick asks the hard questions. Cody finds a new purpose.

If you haven't listened to our World Primer, we strongly recommend you do as this campaign takes place in a homebrew setting and references concepts and terms unique to the show.

Theme Song: "Escaped from the Lost Temple" by Eugene Levitas (ASCAP)

Cyber Attack by JuliusH - https://pixabay.com/music/electronic-cyber-attack-dark-epic-and-mystically-music-7594/

Short Action by John Yasutis - https://pixabay.com/music/main-title-short-action-3677/

Sanjaw Technoworld by Sanjawbeatz - https://pixabay.com/music/techno-trance-sanjaw-technoworld-2892/

Analog Sway by Fabien Renoult (BMI) & Josquin des Pres (BMI)

Cinematic Moog Motion by Zen Man - https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-cinematic-moog-motion-3507/

Surface by Shannon Rothe - https://pixabay.com/music/deep-house-surface-967/

No Quest for the Wicked uses trademarks and/or copyrights owned by Paizo Inc., used under Paizo's Community Use Policy (paizo.com/communityuse). We are expressly prohibited from charging you to use or access this content. No Quest for the Wicked is not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo Inc. and Paizo products, visit paizo.com.

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FEED DROP: Session 0 - World Primer (Essential Listening)

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 19:16:50 GMT

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com

Follow along to the audio logs of Captain Jonathan Oralias, one of the first humans to travel into the Casa-Mal system after The Descent as he forges a new path for himself and his family while searching for purpose in humanity's new home. This is essential listening for our first campaign and sets up the core ideas and concepts of our homebrew setting.

Additional music credit:

"Cinematic Ambient 01" by Zen Man (https://pixabay.com/music/ambient-cinematic-ambient-01-788/)

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Episode 170 - The Year Where Nothing Goes Wrong

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 15:00:00 GMT

You can curse us for jinxing this year only if you thank us for saving it. Topics include Dain's predictions for 2022, a new contender for longest question answer ever as we discuss the intricacies of navigating the "seeing multiple people" dilemma of modern dating, how to deal with the jealousy of other's success and looks and Niall brings a new batch of dating profiles all the way over from Ireland.

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Episode 169 (Nice) - Sexmas Spectacular 2021

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Did you think we forgot about Sexmas? Did we actually forget about Sexmas because we recorded this entire month's worth of episodes in one week? We'll never tell. Join in our annual festivities celebrating the sexiest holiday this season with more sex advice from your two favourite shepherds of joy. Topics include the status of 69, the hardest hitting questions to ask potential lovers, why do women do that, a groovy nervousness, how to turn moving into a sexy situation, Pavlov's moans, the stories your scars tell and the world's smallest dating profile.

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Episode 168 - Booty Bomb

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

I know that it's been a tough couple of years, friends, but we need to stop putting things in our butts that shouldn't go in our butts. Topics include and explosive anal surprise, being clear about your invitations, how long until men expect sex, when you don't have the spark but you've already had the sex, sign language and sex, and, of course, a new batch of dating profiles to be rated.

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Episode 167 - Secret Sin

Mon, 13 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

No one must know of or lay eyes upon the evil ichor my body produces whence thou givest me pleasure. Topics include hitting your partner's nudes with an ol' thumbs up, verbiage for when you have to poop, my celebrity boyfriend's top secret jizz, a not-so-tall tale, accepting that you're someone's flavour, the connotations of catching feelings, simple and easy steps on how to seduce your wife.

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Episode 166 - Same Ol‘ Titties

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

I've always said that the best part of waking up is just a little bit of salmon semen seeping into my morning coffee. Topics include a fishy new material, a sneaky novel idea, falling into the sad category, a parental chaperone for a teenage date, date-stealing friends, freaking women out with your mask and the freshest batch of online dating profiles.

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Episode 165 - Slutbot (feat. Brianna Rader)

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 15:00:00 GMT

I, for one, welcome our future, sexy robot overlord. This week we're joined by sexting AI, Slutbot, creator Brianna Rader to talk about all things sexting. Topics include a guide to great sexting, how to text with women, how to encourage your partner to be a better sexter, how to let down an over-eager texter, a hall pass with a twist and a fresh batch of Tinder profiles.

Find Brianna and Slutbot:
https://www.juiceboxit.com/
https://twitter.com/brirader

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Episode 164 - Batman Voice Seduction

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 15:00:00 GMT

This episode we practice our Batman voices because we all know that's the only voice women respond to. Topics include cat litter feng shui, how to compliment a penis other than size, over analyzing completely normal interactions, disclosing mensuration status, how to protect your girlfriend from the suave barista and curbing a rising exhibitionist.

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Episode 163 - Hornymoon Phase

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 15:00:00 GMT

We've all heard about the honeymoon phase and that's cute... but what about the hornymoon phase? Topics include dealing with exclusivity rejection, worrying about getting bored of your new partner, pre-screening your partner's libido, when you need to use lube or just more foreplay and a fresh batch of dating profiles to critique.

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Episode 162 - First Date Poo Crimes

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Before you do anything, take a second and think to yourself, "Hey. Did this happen in Dumb and Dumber?" Topics include a really crappy first date, having the basic essentials of being an adult, a boggling bedtime invitation, mutual masturbation empowerment, a not-so suspicious work place friendship, addressing the construct that is virginity and the made-up science of dating.

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Episode 161 - Closure Letter Guy

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 14:00:00 GMT

It doesn't matter how scathing or witty you think you were, everyone's going to laugh at your letter, dude. Topics include ghosting expectations, the most genuine laughter is fake laughter, should you stay or should you go, writing a closure letter and why it's a bad idea, chasing the wrong kind of love, valuing your time and effort and a new batch of dating profiles.

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Episode 160 - Attic Box for Mind Games

Mon, 25 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

There are two things you don't want to do rummage through my secret attic box or piss me off and you've just done both. Topics include dealing with a flat-earther, an artistic proposition, having your secret attic box discovered full of your really cool mind games, breast insecurities, an embarrassing "knee-jerk" reaction, being comfortable with alternative means of climax and, as usual, a new batch of dating profiles.

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Episode 159 - Bathe in Your You Goo

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Get your pen and paper ready, folks! At the end of the podcast we have a fun test that's actually not and actually sucks a lot. Topics include why Tinder is the worst dating app, what you need to know for dating in 2021, competing with literally every man in the world, the boundaries of sharing photos you've sent your partner, not-so secretly watching porn during sex and a fresh batch of online dating profiles to critique.

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Episode 158 - It‘s CaptivUS, Not CapitvAS (feat. Angel Russell)

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

I hope you've got room in your fear vocabulary because we're about to add a whole bunch of new entries. This week, we're joined by Angel Russell, our friend from sex supersite Tickle.Life who generously sourced every question for the entire episode. Topics include a Freaky Friday gender swap, a literal sticky situation for your penis, the most complicated way to get pregnant, a going Dutch deal breaker, helping a friend with a pregnancy.

Be sure to check out https://www.tickle.life/index.html for a near infinite resource of sexual resources!

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Episode 157 - First Date Nude Swap

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

After a month of the most chaotic recording schedule we've ever had, we're finally settling back into our proper rhythm, so sit back and expand your brains with this week's dose of dating and sex advice. Topics include the 1-10 hottest scale, how much space do you give when they need space, sharing your ex's nudes with your first date, how to be hit in the face with literally every red flag ever, looking for intimacy through sex and a whole new slew of dating profiles.

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Episode 156 - Lunchroom Romeo

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Imagine the world we could live in if you used your statistics powers for good instead of evil. Fearing we haven't been answering a whole lot of questions lately, we bring another rapid-fire session to clear Niall's question backlog. Topics include a romance born in blackout, a hiking adventure with an ex, break-up responsibilities, crunching the cafeteria romance numbers, suspicious step-sister sports bra, an anti-vax ultimatum and, as usual, a new batch of Tinders.

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Episode 155 - Drake is a Garbage Human

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 14:00:00 GMT

I'll say it here, so that there is both written and recorded evidence, but I would fight Drake in the ring for the honour of all of Toronto. Topics include when you're not invited to your girlfriend's cool parties, missing the clues that you may not be dating anymore, accidentally calling your partner the wrong name in bed, informing your date about unusual physical features, why Drake (and Kanye) are the biggest douchebags, choosing between safety and morality and the most important dating question of our time thanks to a Hinge profile.

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Episode 154 - Gone Girl 2: Gone Harder

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 14:00:00 GMT

This may be our last episode as Dain travels to some non-descript farm in the rural mid-west to solve the biggest mystery of his life. Topics include recommendations and warnings for dating/self-help books, when to warn your partner of embarrassing acne, Gone Girl levels of ghosting and another impressive batch of dating profiles.

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Episode 153 - Toss It In Your Roommate

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 14:00:00 GMT

I don't want to get you too hyped, but I think we finally found our sign off and we definitely execute it perfectly. Topics include the expectations in embarrassment, the abnormality of setting age based milestones, managing your standards and sleeping with your roommate.

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Episode 152 - Stacy Sucksalot

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 14:10:00 GMT

There's got to be at least one person that has used their real name as their porn name and it makes sense that it would be Stacy Sucksalot. Topics include the heat, a suspicious sunset snap, subtly sussing out someone's status, teenage drama, only wanting surface level relationships, pondering partner's porn past and, as usual, a new batch of Tinders.

Support the show by joining our Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 151 - Strong Goblin Energy

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 14:00:00 GMT

We're really on the fence about whether or not we love goblins, but we won't make our decision until we have all of the information. Topics include the official launch of our Patreon, are there real people who are like Dean from Supernatural, allowing your parents to dictate your sex life, triggering the trap card that insults your girlfriend, The Chase™ and how you're doing it wrong, asking permission for a first kiss, the unspoken truths of sex and ending strong with a new crop of Tinder profiles.

Support the show and earn our undying love by joining our Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 150 - Ranch for the Table

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 14:00:00 GMT

This is exactly why we ask for separate bills, Jessica. Topics include launching our Patreon, playing hard to get extremely poorly, adventures in inappropriate lube, the sinister undertones of hiding your age, wanting your date to suffer, does he hate you or want to date you, deepthroat despair and a new slew of Tinders.

Patreon Link:
https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

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Episode 149 - Plans with the Prince

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Sometimes you've got plans with the prince and sometimes you've got a random booty call. We don't know what the means and it doesn't matter if you do either. Topics include not saying "I love you" back, dirty talk demoralization, vacation video mix-up, getting comfortable with your vagina, how to soak your dick and stay chaste, one night stand booty call protocol and giving break-up gifts.

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Episode 148 - Kidnaptivating

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 14:00:00 GMT

There's a time and a place to brag about all your cool rocks and it's literally anywhere and always. Topics include hitting on cuties at the beach with your really cool bucket, a masturbation to sex food comparison, the most sexual vagina to head contact, is it shallow to find someone unattractive, reverse materialistic girlfriend, cunnilingus (but from behind) and pick-up personality archetype selection.

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Episode 147 - A Shoulder To Sleep On

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Hey, Olympics stop being trash and let your athletes bone down (among other things). Topics include getting She's All That'd, threesome troubles, how to not hit on the woman asleep on your shoulder, the comparison between sex and orgasms, jealous of your new party member and as always a whole new slew of Tinder profiles.

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Episode 146 - Dave Matthews' Whole New World

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 14:00:00 GMT

This week Dain introduces Niall to a completely unheard of new musical act called The Dave Matthews Band. Topics include sexy lyrics, not judging lowly scumbags, a long distance booty call, a poisoner returns to the scene of the crime, confusing compatibility with red flags, embracing a completely made up bad boy persona, the dangers of bed humping, an adorable pranker and a feline Tinder takeover.

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Episode 145 - Surprised Butthole

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Really? You're actually going to make me giggle AT your butthole? Topics include on-screen blowjob concerns, a troubling tattoo tribute, using your hobbies to your advantage, navigating kinks to avoid offense, catching your husband in a shitty act, autism and dating.

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Episode 144 - Well, That's a Penis

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 14:00:00 GMT

If you've had a tough week and you're coming to your boys for a little bit of consistency... maybe skip this week? Topics include does online dating suck, ignoring obvious red flags, answering questions about penis size, breaking up with a FWB and appreciating smaller boobs.

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Episode 143 - Tight Little Lobster Roll

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Dain's all juiced up on that sweet Pfizer/Moderna cocktail and not even feeling like absolute hot garbage will stop him. Topics include Sam and Bucky's relationship, guessing if your date expects sex, a penial perjury, the untrustworthy lack of jealousy, navigating STD tests with your FWB and what to do when your cool mom really likes your cool sex painting.

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Episode 142 - Submerged in Squirt

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Dain fought the Claw and the Claw won. Topics include Batman's cunnilingus preference, a forlorn vibrator, a penis ejecting vagina, men complimenting men and the parent trip.

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Episode 141 - The Oral Bench

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 14:00:00 GMT

We're back to work for the first time in like seven months and if you think I've got the energy to come up with a real clever episode description, you can go STRAIGHT TO HELL. Topics include how to absolutely not deal with annoying roommates, offending your date with kindness, when date night is every night, the legitimacy of horny fog, approaching sex as virgins, improving your girlfriend on Instagram and just a whole mess of terrible Tinders.

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Episode 140 - Quantum Dad

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 14:00:00 GMT

No matter what you do today, it's what Dad wanted you to do. Topics include a relationship split, squirting insecurities, the feeling like someone is watching you, ignoring red flags, the omnipotent power of dad.

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Episode 139 - Dain Ruins Rom-Coms

Mon, 31 May 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Look, someone had to say it, but your favourite rom-com couple probably broke up. Topics include the dangers of grand gestures, integrating Tinder's Instagram integration into your dating, comparing yourself to other couples' unrealistic standards, the evolution of Game, a check-in with our favourite dreamer, annoying flirt tactics and perhaps the perfect Tinder bio.

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Episode 138 - Tit for Cat

Mon, 24 May 2021 14:00:00 GMT

I'm not going to lie, if someone offered me really cute kittens, I'd probably have sex with them too. Wait, I mean the person. Not the kittens! Topics include a suspiciously sexy feline pick-up, a sitcom worthy legal lie and one of the longest answers we've ever given that pretty much covers every aspect of dating.

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Episode 137 - Sibling Cuddle Time

Mon, 17 May 2021 16:23:59 GMT

Turns out, after all this time, it's not the step-brother you need to fear, it's the REAL brother! Topics include toxic relationship blackmail, the attractiveness of being direct, sibling jealousy, proximity masturbation, future regrets of casual sex, Rex Starwars and the Helmet of Space Sex.

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Episode 136 - Hagrid Horniness

Mon, 10 May 2021 14:00:00 GMT

You ever reveal a kink to your partner and think, "I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that." Topics include vaccines and nominations, a very big fetish for a very big man, ball aesthetics, escaping abusive relationships, quiet men, keeping baby news from your partner.

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Episode 135 -The Boner Nose Mix-Up

Mon, 03 May 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Circle message: Y'all make me so horny, my eggplant emoji sneezes. Send! Topics include our Circle strategy, sexy sneezy situation, degradation play, the price of your wasted time, mom bod fetish, Pavlov's beans, how to ask out someone you barely know, weird rejection stories.

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Episode 134 - Quickies With Dad

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 14:00:00 GMT

In these trying times, it's important to have a quickie with not just your daughter, but everyone in your family. Topics include a clueless dad, more Tinder tactics talk, the worst proposal surprise, dealing with rejection and the importance of your teenage relationships.

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Episode 133 - Totally Not A Serial Killer

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 14:00:00 GMT

You know what they say, all the good ones are either taken or still alive. Topics include arousing duvet related sexts, how to handle confusing consent, if they only maybe like you, reciprocating by receiving, being a phone person in the age of texting, how not to handle a fetish.

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Episode 132 - Jizzua Tree

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Sometimes you don't want to talk about U2, sometimes you need to. Topics include top secret Dad folder, slobbering sex situation, making the perfect Together Breakfast, scientific semen tree sniffing, and defining a f*ck boy.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 131 - Girth Brooks

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Sure, 2020 was bad, but nothing is worse than finding out someone beat you to Girth Brooks. Topics include, zombie sex robots, nude roommate blunder, nothing gay about pegging, finding your bad date's Twitter, a return to the fever dreams of BetterBetch, amnesia as a defense.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 130 - Snuffles Snarfed My Snippers

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 14:00:00 GMT

And as the last light of humanity slowly flickers away, the words echoed one last time, "I am immortal." Topics include cryptic sex AIs, unhealthy ways to express doubts, when to a bail on catfish dates, peanut butter dog crimes and masturbation material.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 129 - Mudblood Mike

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 17:16:35 GMT

I don't have abs or a good brain, I'm pretty much House-Elf Mike. Topics include a step-by-step guide to murder-staring, separating the desire for sex and masturbation, a fishy proposition, the new Arby's vagina sandwich, long distance reconnection and discussing Asian-focused violence.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 128 - Bugs Bunny's Big Rabbit Penis

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 14:09:05 GMT

Do you guys remember that scene in Space Jam where Bugs has an existential crisis over the size of his absolutely massive donger? Topics include Niall and Dain's cancel culture corner, an indecent proposal, the Lola Bunny injustice, talking about your exes with your current partner, peeing your date's pants, first date attraction, and a whole new crop of Tinder profiles to rate.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 127 - The 20 Second Rule

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 15:00:00 GMT

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual, that's just to help us transition into a more manageable 20 second format. Topics include the cure for insanity, bringing a gun to a genital fight, fighting your girlfriend's dad for the bill, applying fashion rules to relationships, managing online relationships and a real good crop of Tinder profiles.

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Episode 126 - Jacksoff Dollop

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 15:00:00 GMT

If you're gonna cream your jeans, you might as well make it artistic. Topics include breaking up but in the future, getting very excited by holding hands, love lockdowns and general relationship dread and cutting ties with a lost cause.

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Episode 125 - I TikTok'd My Fortnite, Doc!

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 15:00:00 GMT

You know what they say, kids will be kids especially when crippling themselves while sexually pleasuring themselves. Topics include a political hot-take, Sing your own D, living and dating with herpes, being tempted during tough times, maintaining your interests in relationships and Dain's re-entry into Tinder.

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Episode 124 - Live Every Day Like Your Girlfriend Says It's Your Last

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Are psychic girlfriends becoming more common or are we now just waking up to reality? Topics include a problematic predication, soup spilling seduction, learning where the dishes go, wanting your lingerie to linger a little longer, and texting back a frequent texter.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 123 - Self-Defense Penis Popping

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 15:00:00 GMT

We do our best not provide you with solid advice, but we really want to stress that we don't think it's a good idea to do anything to your penis that would cause it to make any sort of audible noise. Topics include the rarest man, feeling like your vagina isn't good enough, walking date fury, penis popping and a terrible poop secret.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 122 - Niall's Condom Sack

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 15:00:00 GMT

I don't care who knows it: Leader of Men by Nickelback is a pretty good song. Topics include recurring tattoo troubles, three round sex requirement, post-sex clean up techniques, what makes sex bad, Dain's murder closet.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 121 - Thumbs Down That Ass

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 15:00:00 GMT

You can let a man down easy or you can let him down hard or you can thumb that ass right down. Topics include a delightful ball experience that every man definitely wants, a baffling work (maybe) romance, being bad at break-up texts, being known as the stinky girl, endless first date gambit.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES20.

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Episode 120 - Bluetooth Sleuth

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 14:00:00 GMT

I legally have to say that I'm not encouraging you to do crimes, but if you were going to do crimes... why not do them all? Topics include Bluetooth detective work, naming your kid after your ex, stop being charming and other bad advice, making up stories and short guy problems.

This week we are proud to be sponsored by MANSCAPED. Go to http://manscaped.com/ and get 20% off + free shipping with the code: BUDDIES.

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Episode 119 - Unaware Mistress

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 14:00:00 GMT

Okay, just hear me out, maybe someone is in a relationship with you and YOU don't know. It could happen, right? Topics include relationship follow-for-follow, the "s" word, the moral grounds of cheating, the biggest, hardest pep talk two boys have ever given and how to be true to yourself and be sex.

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Episode 118 - The Woman Depot

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 14:00:00 GMT

We did it! We made it to 2021! Now no one say anything about what kind of year it's going to be. Topics include groundhog year, cousin porn, birthday shutdown, surgical sex stoppage, how to pick up Japanese women, rejecting sexual advances that you want.

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Episode 117 - Chinese Sex Donkey

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Look, we've almost made it through 2020. For the love of God, just stay clear of this donkey. Topics include ranking your sexual partners, dangers of dating a witch, a textbook way to ruin Christmas, cellphone paranoia, reflecting on missed opportunities.

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Episode 116 - Sexmas Spectacular 2020

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We made it to everyone's favourite non-denominational festive holiday: SEXMAS! Join us for a special episode where we take a break from answering questions to come up with a steamy erotica book that will please you in more ways than one! We want to wish you a safe and happy holiday whether you're celebrating Sexmas, another winter tradition or nothing in particular. We love you!

Additional Music:
Christmas Rap by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3505-christmas-rap
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

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Episode 115 - Anal Mom (Step Mother Edition)

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Stop what you're doing right now and go enter our Sexmas Giveaway! Contest ends December 17th 2020, so get going! Links are found further below. Topics include celebrating a dead abuser, being a sober dater, how to absolutely not connect with teens, the detriments of condoms, recovering from an accident, wanting it rougher.

ENTER THE SEXMAS GIVEAWAY:
https://www.facebook.com/fckbuddiespodcast/posts/1314934288840772
https://twitter.com/Fck_Buddies/status/1337182382550634501
https://www.instagram.com/p/CIoGISYg7VM/

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Episode 114 - Good Teen Fun

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 14:00:00 GMT

There's a very big announcement involving Sexmas at the end of the show, so make sure you stay around to hear what we've got planned. Or you could skip ahead to the end, but we know you wouldn't do that... would you? Topics include learning what Dain's scented candle is, being your true self, how to stop being attracted to women, navigating a Hall Pass, the importance of a safe word, our big Sexmas plan!

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Episode 113 - Spoonful of Cheese

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 14:00:00 GMT

During these trying times, its important to check in on your friends and see if they're doing okay especially if they were absolutely never doing okay. Topics include an innovative use of bodily fluids, the desire to be a classy wife, post break-up couples therapy, getting used, cum prevention techniques, bragging about being an adult.

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Episode 112 - The XBox Live School of Parenting

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We're just gonna let you listen to this podcast, but we're not giving it to you. Please give us our podcast back now. Topics include historical sex inventions, a reincarnated girlfriend, un-SIMPing your son, lock down lock out, a gift for future boyfriend(s).

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Episode 111 - How to Categorize Women

Mon, 16 Nov 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Aren't you just sick and tired of never knowing whether you want to date, have sex with or just be friends with a woman? Well, have we got a revolutionary trick for you this episode! Topics include psychic girlfriend, giving up sex for religion, literal cabin fever, sexual tension day games, long term sex drives, an earth shattering way to deal with women, having a real sexy teacher.

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Episode 110 - The Horny Truth About Coffee

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Hey, America! You did a good job and to celebrate we've got a very special episode in which we barely talk about politics because we had no idea what was going to happen when we recorded this. Topics include a surprisingly horny coffee fact, what to do when your date falls asleep, masturbation and virginity, how to tell your partner they're not good in bed, using "faking it" as a weapon, the most important metric in which to evaluate breasts.

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Episode 109 - Slurpin' Lady Soup

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Welcome to this week's episode, if you'll give us a moment, we just have to finish half-heartedly deepthroating this dildo. Topics include PS5 sadness, an abusive song, unexpected dildo desires, reverting to your original stink, neighbourly sex crimes, dealing with a broken condom.

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Episode 108 - The War on Boys

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 13:00:00 GMT

The lines have been drawn in the sand. You're either with us or against us. The War on Boys begins now! Topics include a brief history of Canadian serial killers, virtual work dress codes, supporting new hobbies, nocturnal smackdown, how to dirty talk if your partner started it, homewrecker avoidance tactics.

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Episode 107 - Be More Like Chad Kroeger

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 13:00:00 GMT

If we could all just take a moment to reflect on our lives for a second and see how we could be a bit more like Canadian rock superstar Chad Kroeger the world would be a better place. Topics include engagement ring fake out, getting out of the pick-up game, STD gaslighting masterclass, giving up masturbation, the infidelity notary.

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Episode 106 - The Most Romantic Teenager

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 14:00:00 GMT

In this episode two very romantic adult men lament the troubles of being romantic teenage males. Topics include only looking for sex online, threesome preparation, dealing with your partner having sex with someone else, teenage romance, a healthy way to get your partner to embrace a healthier way.

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Episode 105 - Wife's Hot Friend Harem

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 13:00:00 GMT

Dain brings big dad energy to this one and Niall insults some brains. Topics include fortunes found in foreskin, a murdery update, a rocky honeymoon phase, annoyingly platonic dick pics, being bullied by your wife to sleep with her friend, why won't just reject men up front, an epic chronicle of perfect monster girls.

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Episode 104 - Diary of a Swimpy Kid

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 05:56:00 GMT

This week we bring a very important update regarding #NoSimpSeptember which we definitely take very serious and don't mock at all. Topics include women's inability to understand kindness, the hazards of a 24/7 fetish lifestyle, keeping your relationship spontaneous with attempted murder, a double grandpa situation, engagement ring conman classics, accidentally marrying a pornstar and a sex writing segment that affects Dain to the very core of his being.

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Episode 103 - Penial Structural Integrity

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We're usually on the same page when it comes to answering questions, but when we're not we get contention boi energy. Topics include the terrifying power of WAP, just wanting to see some fat dick, vaginal beauty standards, enjoying a sunset with a stranger, defining compatibility, the perfect gift, lingerie ownership and whole slew of new dating red flags.

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Episode 102 - Bouncing Bad

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 13:00:00 GMT

I don't know about you, Iron Man, but a Thanos snap doesn't seem like the worst idea right now. Topics include a soupy Samurai seduction, losing your virginity with Mr. Stark, a post-break up birthday party, the most sacred of family vows, dealing with a chronic ghoster, illicit trampoline funds.

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Episode 101 - Sodomy Monster

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Oh boy! I don't know what to say about this one, y'all. I suppose this is just the energy we're bringing to the 100s. Topics include how to slow a dude's sex roll, how to bring a little 8 Mile into your relationship, boyfriend surveillance, the finest works of T. Shakespeare, the bravest bread maneuver, Dain brings us up to a date with our favourite dreamer and Niall provides quite possibly the wildest, and hottest, sex writing segment ever.

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Episode 100 - Long Hard Clit

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We've done it. Somehow, we've made it to 100 episodes and we haven't missed a single one! Thank you so much for being on this weird, sexy and sometimes audibly uncomfortable ride with us. We love you. Also, if you submitted an audio clip for our 100th Episode Celebration, stay tuned at the end to hear it! Topics include the most unpleasant sex writing Niall's ever read, an unsafe undergarment snack, the threesome desire, divorce dating opportunities, spicing things up with a new wardrobe, a Gone Girl worthy blog and a 100th Episode celebration!

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Episode 99 - Velvety Red Blossoming Delivery Truck

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Celebrate Episode 100 with us by sending in a short voice message to fbuddiespodcast[at]gmail.com!

This week's train wreck of a title is the result of a terrible experiment cooked up by Niall. Topics include a five minute conversation cap, appealing to white people, the most magical of Mikes, fanfiction discoveries, being TOO good, helping The Kid recover from a missed opportunity.

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Episode 98 - Instagram Toe-Licking 101

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Terrible personalities, horrible podcast. Don't even bother. Topics include small penis sibling comfort, a horny milk update, an accidental first date text, being too available, approach empathy, the catalog feeling of online dating, the most graphic Instagram live video ever.

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Episode 97 - Wish.com's James Franco

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We got a break from the scorching heat here in Toronto, so we took advantage by using our very big brains to answer your questions with perfect clarity this week. Topics include Pokemon passion problems, communication tactics, keeping it SIMP-le, anal inclinations, saving your tongue for marriage, and we review more of your submitted Tinder profiles.

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Episode 96 - Horny Milk (feat. Shakun Sethi)

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

This week we have an exciting guest, Shakun Sethi, the founder and CEO of Tickle.Life, a website that can only be described as a sexuality megasite. Topics include parent safe glory hole descriptions, sex when you're not feeling sexy, starting a conversation from nothing, the leaky boob betrayal, a third-party DM inquiry.

Visit www.tickle.life for more sex and sexuality wellness material!

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Episode 95 - Semi-Full Time Cowboy

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 14:00:00 GMT

This week Dain confronts Niall about a terrible crime and a whole new conspiracy reveals itself. Topics include astral hexing, expectations for a romantic picnic, emotional cheating, the right time to state intentions, escaping Scientology, dating profile review.

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Episode 94 - The Dream Gambit

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We bring some real bad energy at the top of this episode because sometimes you just got to let it all out, but don't worry, we get to that good stuff in no time. Topics include not allowed to be good at video games, contrary boners, manufacturing a broken heart, looking sexy tied up, mother-daughter dildo bonding and a fun new game!

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Episode 93 - Ghost Girlfriend Surprise

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 14:00:00 GMT

I know we say it a lot, but I think this one is the sweatiest episode ever. Even in the middle of a heatwave here in Toronto, we get in our murder-sweat-closest to record an episode to keep your sex at the top of its game. Topics include calling dibs on women, a potential spectral surprise, a creepy meet-cute, getting over social anxiety and improving self-worth, a date refund, sharing condom costs.

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Episode 92 - Ragdoll Facial

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 14:00:00 GMT

This week we buckle down and get to business with possibly the most questions we've ever answered in one episode. We've set a dangerous precedent, but don't get too used to it, this much focus can only come around once in awhile. Topics include a real ex-girlfriend porn video, the creepiest clean up, a traditional family without electronics, a sexy video to the wrong fella, insecurity and plastic surgery, making new traditions for traumatic events, dating while broke, unashamed erections, a sixth grade conundrum.

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Episode 91 - Phat Yoni Energy

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Crack open an ice cold beer that may or may not include someone's genital bacteria and enjoy this week's episode! Topics include the mystical yoni, how to recover after losing a fight, a political tattoo, getting over a broken heart and accepting your vagina's plumpness.

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Episode 90 - Pride MEGAsode (feat. Kyle Crawford)

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

It's the time of year, y'all! Happy Pride! And what would Pride be without our annual Pride episode and with our favourite co-host Kyle Crawford? In dependable fashion, Kyle brings a brand new game to challenge Dain and Niall with to see who's more in touch with their queer side. Topics include Grindr's race removal, bisexual reveal, keeping it in the family threesome, making moves in this quarantine world, a video game faux pas, churning and burning.

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Episode 89 - The Impossible Toilet

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

We're back to our regularly scheduled programming in the hopes that we can be a little bit of light in an otherwise bleak time. We hang out in the bathroom for probably too long in this episode, but that's okay because sometimes you gotta get dirty to answer the people's questions. Topics include absorbent seduction techniques, mystery residue and mystery fetish, a big small toilet problem, how to calm the My Girl in your girl, and fighting indoctrination.

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Black Lives Matter

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

This week we take a step back from our usual show to use our platform to support the Black Lives Matter.

Books recommendations:

'Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race' by Beverly Daniel Tatum
'When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir' by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Asha Bandele
'So You Want to Talk About Race' by Ijeoma Oluo
'Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower' by Brittney Cooper

Important Links:
https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
https://bailfunds.github.io/

As of this publishing, the Youtube video to donate without money has been taken down.

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Episode 88 - How Sexy Is Dain's Dad?

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

The world is chaos at the moment. We recorded this episode before madness descended, so we hope that we can provide a slice of normalcy and maybe even a smile during these times of pain and healing.

Additional music:

Study And Relax by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5764-study-and-relax
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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Episode 87 - Banging Grandma While Jesus Watches

Mon, 25 May 2020 14:00:00 GMT

A brief apology for some of the audio issues this week, my microphone decided to crank itself to 11 while we were recording, but thanks to modern technology, we were able to fix the issue for the most part and deliver another week of rousing sex and dating advice. Topics include terrorist incels, the boundary between insecurity and invasion, clearing your mind during sex, an unexpected elderly audience, a sexual hydration solution, a hostile business takeover.

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Episode 86 - Super Penis Cocktail

Mon, 18 May 2020 13:00:00 GMT

It's hard to come up with these episode descriptions when all I do is sit around all day re-watching Community and working on a digital farm, but, hey, someone's got to do it. Topics include creative urine solutions, finding a place for sex when you're exhausted, natural penis enlargement, making sure you don't confuse holes, the hellish fiend Doof Deniur.

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Episode 85 - Elusive Pirate

Mon, 11 May 2020 16:12:17 GMT

In the interest of safety, we respectfully ask that you remain six feet away from your podcast player while listening to this week's episode. You can't be too safe. Topics include sideways boners, where are young people having sex, quarantine friends with benefits, how to leave pick-up behind and initiate sex like a human being, seducing your mom's best friend, cutting a new relationship off at the knee, dealing with tummy insecurities.

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Episode 84 - Matthew's Famous Brisket

Mon, 04 May 2020 12:00:00 GMT

Look, we know you've got a lot on your mind. Deadly pandemic, murder hornets... full body mythical creature tattoos. We're here to take your mind off all this craziness for a hot, sexy hour. You're welcome. Topics include how to seduce an angry woman, peeing someone else's underwear, masturbation fines, bringing the goods when you blow too soon, how to defeat a succubus, when you're bored of explaining yourself and how to communicate in a communcationless relationship.

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Episode 83 - Baby Black Market

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMT

This week we start off pretty butt-centric, but don't worry, we branch out. Niall gives a much needed health update and Dain is worried about the careers of porn writers. Topics include a froggy conundrum, respecting property, a cardboard cut-out situation, infant master thief or cursed couch, not owning a monopoly on your partner's love and respectful slapping.

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Episode 82 - Mattress Wife

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMT

This is a good one, friends. We barely even have to try to keep the recent unpleasantness from seeping into this one. The only downside is that we do talk politics for awhile, but... like, not really. Topics include Trump's stunning re-election campaign, a quarantine hook-up power move, love-making laughter, protecting your mattress, dreaming of more experience, more dream analysis, letting insecurity ruin things before they start.

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Episode 81 - Two Birds, One Ball-Gag (feat. Suzannah Weiss)

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 11:00:00 GMT

This week we bring on our first honest-to-goodness sexpert! We may be stuck inside due to the recent unpleasantness, but that doesn't mean we can't reach out across this fine Internet and connect with new voices to share their wisdom with you. Topics include 50/50 sex savant, vaginal orgasm fixation, first time frustration, the band-aid scream solution, sex-induced pooping.

If you'd like to find Suzannah on social media, check her out on Twitter: @suzannahweiss, on Instagram: weisssuzannah and online at suzannahweiss.com.

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Episode 80 - Flushing Your Gage Stash

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 11:00:00 GMT

We've officially declared this week a NOVID-Nonteen episode. We don't talk about the recent unpleasantness and get back to what we're meant to do: serve up the best sex and dating advice you can find on the Internet. Also, thanks for your patience while we sort out our remote recording issues and we're happy to announce we're back at full quality and maximum boi-energy. Topics include jealous of dog cuddles, yappy women, how to know you're in love, is there such a thing as too much sex, desiring more little kisses, discovering masturbation, every man's worst Gage nightmare.

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Episode 79 - Kevin's Dirty Dildo Dishwasher

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 06:03:47 GMT

I swear to God, Kevin, if I see one more dildo you're out of this quarantine. Topics include a COVID-19 check in, relationships going platonic, breaking up in isolation, not being able to lie about liking big butts, telling your partner you've had better sex, making the first of many moves in a long game, sex toy sanitation.

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Episode 78 - Scrotal Distancing

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 07:00:02 GMT

Much like the state of the world, it's a bit of a strange one this week, folks. We're practicing social distancing and therefore are recording remotely, so we apologize for the audio quality. We're taking steps to improve the clarity in the coming weeks for as long as we have to continue to self-isolate. We hope you're all keeping safe and staying healthy, we love you. Topics include COVID-19, self-isolation long distance relationships, a tempting booty call, stop eating ass, a best friend boner, and a quarantine decision.

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Episode 77 - Flatulent Cat

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 06:04:02 GMT

The world is a bit wild right now, y'all. Whether you're self-isolating, social distancing or just need something to take your mind off of the craziness, we hope this week's episode provides a little bit of relief and normalcy in otherwise chaotic times. Topics include blasting your baby with sweet vagina tunes, boner shyness, period sex etiquette and concerns, orgasm sensitivity, made up boyfriends, and a noisy vagina.

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Episode 76 - Saloon-Style Semen Spittoon

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 05:21:45 GMT

Oh boy, have we done it this week. If you like your episodes filthy with a healthy dose of ranting and tangents, you're in for a treat. But, listen, y'all. We got plans, so we're going to make this quick. Topics include addressing racist behaviour, dates making escape plans, a hook-up culture discussion, pre-dump warning, non-stop orgasming, letting romantic comedies ruin your life.

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Episode 75 - Gag The Raven, Nevermore

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 05:00:05 GMT

We get wild pretty much right off the bat in this one, friends. This episode is all about that cool, cool penis energy and not at all about Nazi pubes. Topics include loud parent sex, a nefarious neighbour, canceling a date and skipping straight to sex, a deodorant dick spray, pre-blowjob showers, we attempt sex writing, an effeminate voice, bailing on a date when they run late.

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Episode 74 - Bad Lover or Great Murderer?

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 06:47:15 GMT

Don't be scared by our rocky start, this episode is still packed to the brim with that good advice and plenty of trips to Tangent City. Topics include a cryptic door note, how to pamper your fuck buddy, how to recover from asking someone out and not getting a response, taking steps to rougher sex, stop wasting your time and energy on douchebags. Also, check out our new friends at Tickle.Life for all sorts of great sexuality and health content!

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Episode 73 - The Altruism of Steven Tinder

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 07:46:42 GMT

We may have missed Valentine's Day, but that doesn't mean you don't need dating advice anymore. In fact, with our inadvertent ignoring of the big V-D, you may need our advice more than ever! Topics include the normal amount of likes to get on Tinder, hiding your success from new dates, when to offer a ride on a date, admitting your toxic behaviour, discounting non-hetro sexual experiences.

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Episode 72 - Pretty Little Woman

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 07:06:22 GMT

Welcome to this week's podcast episode where we fail to correctly identify or reference anything that has to do with pop culture or classic literature! Topics include finding a boyfriend who isn't best friends with Shaggy, requiring validation from strangers, breaking up but not letting go, post-oral kissing protocol and giving up the notion of "the one."

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Episode 71 - To Pee Or Not To Pee

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 06:29:39 GMT

Well, the big sports game is over and we barely talked about it. What we did talk about is the pressing concerns you all have about dating and sex. Topics include moving on and learning to trust again, getting your man to pee on you, songs to jam to, how to be a more sexual man, desperation detection recovery and learning how to apologize when you've done something wrong.

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Episode 69+1 - Drive By Seduction

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 07:59:21 GMT

Hey, y'all wanna make a stape? Come on, we could both have a stape to remember our time together. Also, don't freak out by the episode numbering, it's a dumb joke that we'll only do once. Topics include catching stape fever, not his cup of pee, allergic reaction to attraction, making sex a chore, drunk driving pick up techniques, first date ice breakers.

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Episode 69 - The Race to Save 69

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 07:01:39 GMT

We finally did it. We made it to episode 69 and let me be completely honest with you, we didn't plan anything for it. Not at all. We do, however, come up with more brilliant ideas for TV shows. Also, try to keep an ear out for Niall accidentally confessing his love for a certain bald musician. Topics include our brand new GOOP scent, being the worst girlfriend ever, the countdown to solve 69, is age but a number, having a hard time believing she won't sleep with you, knowing your partner's ex still has their nudes, a cheeky bra removal and how to be a more active participant in sex.

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Episode 68 - A Full Grown Vin Diesel

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

This week we talk about our resolutions and also do some real deep diving on the hottest Vin Diesel education history. Topics include expressing your love, how to welcome home a returning lover, after sex cravings, a surfing scandal, anime moans, and becoming your brother's father.

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Episode 67 - Plenty of Beef

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 07:44:55 GMT

New Year, same Pod! I think I made that joke last year too, but I'll do what I want because it's 2020. Topics include Sharon Stone's dating profile, heely in or heely out, triggering PTSD during sex, keeping the mystery alive, a porn appearance accusation, interrupting your son's gay sex and Dain makes the choicest purchase of 2020.

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Episode 66 - The Soft Curves of Ralph Wiggum

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 08:56:02 GMT

Hey 2019. You were pretty buckwild and messed a lot of people's stuff up, but if we're being honesty here... you were pretty good to us. So, thanks, but let's make room for 2020 now, baby. Topics include not having sex on New Year's Eve (cheers!), Ralph Wiggum and your other precious children, Niall lies about surfing in Ireland, booty call babysitting, being boring, the winner of the Niall Joke Award is announced, getting bored of your naked partner, tactical break up timing, and a pegging situation.

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Episode 65 - Second Annual Sexmas Spectacular (2019)

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

It's the most wonderful time of the yeaaaaar! It's time for our second annual Sexmas Spectacular. This week, YOU gifted US with a ton of your festive questions and we happily answer them with seasonally appropriate cheer. Topics include sneaky squeakless sex, gifting your fuck buddy, nosy family questions and seeking closure.

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Episode 64 - Exit Pursued By Bear (Named Gary)

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

This week we drink wine and argue about what kind of clothing Shrek wears. Topics include bossy reds, meme deal breakers, freeloading sex critique, trash dick, saying the wrong name, and Dain's favourite bad sex writing yet.

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Episode 63 - Dog Boyfriend

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 08:09:30 GMT

Last week we indulged ourselves in a little game, but this week we get right into the meaty, juicy good stuff that you all come here for: advice. And let me tell you, we have got some doozies this week. Topics include unintentional third wheel voyeurism, hotel sex long con, wishing he'd have a condom, threesome anxiety and picking a name for the new dog.

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Episode 62 - Wham Bam Arby's Slam! (feat. Kyle Crawford)

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 07:26:24 GMT

You're in for a real treat today, friends. Now, I will warn you that this one is a bit off the rails, but we've got your favourite guest boy back in the closet. That's right, Kyle Crawford joins us once again to co-host this week's episode and this time he brings us a brand new segment: The Fuckly Buds Game! Niall and Dain play, what is essentially the Newlyweds Game, to see who knows the most about each other while also finding out what a monster Kyle is when it comes to rules. Topics include the mad shatter, another prophetic dream about pools, moving in too soon, finding the body type that makes you comfortable, getting over the mental blocks of a new kink, a practical after sex surprise.

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Happy Happy Game Show" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

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Episode 61 - Poppin' Placentas

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In a very special episode we celebrate the greatest of days, Dain's birthday. To commemorate thirty-two beautiful years on this planet, we pool our collective knowledge into an infinite pool of wisdom. We also freak out a lot about placentas and we put a new topic in The Box. Topics include a Tinder heist, having your cake and eating the exact same cake, why you don't take pills you get in the mail, a very tight penis, the great Instagram purge and sleeping with a best friend.

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Episode 60 - Snapchat Sleeper Cell

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Despite many cat related technical difficulties, we managed to record this episode for your listening pleasure. We only had to start and stop recording like three times, but we did it. Also, if anyone wants a cat, let me know. Topics include wedding night semen request, top secret Snapchat activation streaks, public sex rejection, the mysterious case of the text that was never sent, how Dain ruined a marriage and sexless seduction.

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Episode 59 - One Hundred John Cusacks

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 07:01:27 GMT

The spookiness of October is far behind us now and the cold winter chill has begun to creep into the closet. Dain brings a much needed update on an on-going saga and Niall reveals our first listener gift. Topics include dealing with betrayal and a tattoo Hail Mary, ignoring women for three years to attract... women, learning to not be creepy, sneaking a boy into your house undetected, being the only girl in the world to your special someone, a BetterBetch update.

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Episode 58 - The Choicest Babar Porn

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 15:39:45 GMT

With only a few residual spook-stains from Spooktober, we roll into, in Dain's opinion, the best month of November. As the crisp fall breeze gives way to the cold winter wind, let us keep you warm with the hottest sex and dating advice. Topics include an annoying question, the no kid clause, the sinister sensation of having a taste for the younger flesh, hobbies that get the tail to chase you and performance sex.

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Episode 57 - Spooktacular 2019: The Spite Witch (feat. Cydney Penner)

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 06:38:16 GMT

Good day, boos and ghouls (and everyone in between or outside of). Welcome to our first ever official Spooktacular! That's right, you're used to the hottest sex advice, but this time around we're bringing you the spookiest advice and we've even got the spookiest guest host we could find... The Spite Witch herself! Topics include a sneaky pair of panties, spooky sex injuries, a germane porn review, haunted house boners, the latest in the BetterBetch saga, fantasizing about "taking" virginity.

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Episode 56 - Family Threesome

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Niall's had a bad day, so we sing about it. We actually do a lot of singing in this episode. Maybe too much. Topics include respectful break-ups, the importance of D&D, drugging your wife, losing a little weight, some awkward questions, and wooing the cute hairdresser.

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Episode 55 - Slippery Steve's Soul Patch

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 06:40:58 GMT

This week Niall makes a really good joke. I mean, like, he makes a really, really good joke. And if that doesn't make you horny, Dain brings back a baffling previous question-asker for a much needed update. Topics include birthday texts, falling in love in three days, another prophetic dream, drive-by flirting, the great sugar daddy gift card scam, forbidden erections and the past kiss haunting.

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Episode 54 - Luke Warm Steve Austin

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 04:13:48 GMT

Oh boy. We enter year two hard this week by, maybe, just maybe, revealing we've secretly been terrible people (Dain especially) all along. But that's okay because we accidentally start this week's episode by just getting right into the advice with some hypotheticals. Also, this week we start a box in which we take stupid societal concepts and just lock them away for good. Topics include bad dick game, t-shirt exposition, parental sex toy bamboozles, bedroom raincoat mistake, exposing your number, staying in her pushy, and cougar huntin'.

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Episode 53 - Clap Alien Cheeks

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 06:00:00 GMT

We've done it! We made it a whole year, didn't miss a single episode and somehow climbed to the top 50 sex podcasts in Canada. We celebrate with a special long episode of this here podcast. A special appearance from our favourite guest host, Kyle and the soft rumbling purrs of Oliver grace this very exciting anniversary episode. Topics include big booty blunders, a dick pic tells a thousand words, probably a pretty problematic game of Fuck/Marry/Kill, alien jealousy, a Dan retrospective and a brand new segment.

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Episode 52 - Drippy Darnell

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 04:44:53 GMT

Summer 2: The Sequel to Summer is here and we're back to being sweaty closet boys, but that doesn't stop us from providing you ever hotter dating and sex advice. Topics include being too passive, pulling out's suggested success rate, idealizing your relationship, the promise ring problem, a sweaty curse by the Spite Witch and a shocking Dan revelation.

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Episode 51 - The Tenacity of Banana Mammal

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 07:11:44 GMT

This week we celebrate hitting the top 200 sexuality podcasts in Canada by once again inadvertently making an episode with a common theme; Dump. His. Ass. Look, we're all about communication and solving problems, but sometimes you need to toss these garbage people off a metaphorical cliff and get on with your (much better) life. Also, you're not going crazy if you hear a cat purring, Oliver weasled his way into the room and graced us with his perfect rumbles. Topics include a punishing flash, plastic surgery ultimatum, not being pretty, single shaming, boyfriend material, forcing a threesome and syrupy pancakes.

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Episode 50 - You're Grounded, Reggie!

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 05:12:40 GMT

Look, sometimes you need to play the long game and this week, we have the hottest strategies for getting back at those dang pesky in-laws. Topics include getting grounded, dating a night owl when you're a morning person, the "what are we?" taboo, porn over sex, the white lie blow-off and asking for consent.

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Episode 49 - Yommy Mommy

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 05:31:37 GMT

This week Dain wrangles a drunken Niall through the episode, but not without dropping some serious revelations. Niall comes up with the best and worst relationship analogies. Topics include a baby named Misogyny, wholesome porn, when to say the L-word, learning nothing on a first date, seducing MILFS and jail bait.

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Episode 48 - Sand Castle Bully

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 04:40:21 GMT

We stop messing around this week and finally talk about what everyone's been begging us for: BEACH GAME. That's right, we got covered better than Niall's super expensive boy body oil. Topics include making him cum multiple times in one night, attempted murder break-up, the secret shame of all men, $500 reparations, bad blowjobs and more dancing, sand castle competitions, sex tape preparation.

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Episode 47 - Breaking the Banjo String

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 06:18:39 GMT

We've done gone and done it this week, that's right. It's first ever podcast unboxing. We then aggressively tackle a single Agent's questions with a few delves into the Reddit reservoir while getting into some unexpectedly deep tangents. Also Dain Google image searches something he wishes he could immediately un-see while his cats sing us the songs of their people. Topics include dating other people, avoiding monotonous sex, clitnipulation, sex addiction and the dangers of game, a comprehensive guide to handjobs and blowjobs.

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Episode 46 - The Adventures of Boomerang Man

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 05:59:52 GMT

We're just a couple of sweaty, melty, hot boys this week. The closet has reached peak summer temperatures and the only thing saving us is this new, chill energy from not recording on our usual day. Niall is well fed and Dain's got some serious punch energy happening. Topics include keepin' it casual, vlog couples, a once in a lifetime jerk-off experience, an immediate blowjob, the skinvisible man, swallowing your pride and not eating lead, how does cuddling work, and an apology from Boomerang Man.

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Episode 45 - Cargo Shorts Boner

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 05:33:50 GMT

Look, maybe I'm drunk while I upload this. Maybe we were drunk while we recorded this. You can't prove anything, also we're grown ass men we can do whatever we want. Topics include over-cumming, having no friends, dreaming of your dead ex-boyfriend, lowering you standards to end a dry spell, lol-ing your nudes away, hurting the pipis, initiating sexual conversations, smashing that unwanted boner, ashamed orgasms, a brand new porn review and a new sex headline!

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Episode 44 - Your Special Bee Treasure

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 04:53:56 GMT

Niall has a sore butt and brings a forbidden book into the closet. Dain finds an incredible resource and new personal hero. Topics include a polite rejection response, the tragic bee coma, a platonic wedding date (or murder), being pretty enough to be a stripper, the latest in the BetterBetch saga, an ass like a chow's tongue, how to make want me tonight and looks DO matter.

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Episode 43 - The One About Boundaries

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 05:35:02 GMT

This one goes out to all of our boundary respecting listeners! It's rare that our episodes ever have a cohesive theme and it's especially unlikely when they do because we literally don't plan anything when we record, but this week we take a very special look at boundaries in the work place, at home and more. Topics include forcing a broken heart, key copying made terrifying, John Cusack's printer romance movie, the hungriest date, sub drops, the cheating trimester and an exciting new addition to the BetterBetch saga.

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Episode 42 - Eat An Ass, Save A Life

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 05:54:04 GMT

Do we ever get into it today, friends. If there was a checklist of things you'd want us to talk about on our podcast, I'm going to assume we've checked all of those boxes. Flaccid dicks, butthole eating, how much Joseph Heller's books suck, we got it all. And to top it all off, we've got a brand new porn review that might be just a little bit racist. Topics include the Tale of Rimjob Rob, how to pronounce your name right, increasing sexual stamina with unsexy thoughts, reverse pick-up lines, competing with other men in REAL TIME, demanding nudes, and post-sex penis stroking.

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Episode 41 - Horny At The Dirty Pool

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 14:15:24 GMT

Every once in awhile a question so poignant, so exceptional, so mind-boggling buck-wild comes along and makes you re-think everything you've ever known. This week, we answer that question. Topics include the dangers of flirting, the stigmas and mental health struggles of STIs, homophobia blackmail, bonerjams 2019, how to lose a guy in 10 days and the best question we've ever read.

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Episode 40 - Min-Maxing Your Oppression

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 05:29:52 GMT

We're not sure we're going to make it through the summer in this here recording closet. This week, we're barely clothed and summer has just begun. But shedding our clothing also means we're shedding our societal burdens allowing us to give you the rawest dating and sex advice on the Internet. Topics include banging your best friend's best friend, orgasm inception, financial burdens and responsibilities, a sneaky pork experience, vaginal death-grip, a one-week "betrayal" and a brand new segment from Dain.

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Episode 39 - A Japanese Salty Dish

Mon, 24 Jun 2019 06:32:34 GMT

This week we got one of our most bewildering Facebook questions (and that's saying a lot!), but like true professionals (disclaimer: we are NOT professionals) we're still brave enough to tackle it. Also, we feature our very first non-fiction sex writing. Topics include a threatening break-up, a salty snack and a mean prank, being old enough to figure it out, dating competition, pre-penetration porn problems, buckwild orgasms and exes that cling on.

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Episode 38 - Gay's Anatomy (2019 Pride Episode feat. Kyle Crawford)

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 04:58:27 GMT

He's back, baby! To celebrate our first official Pride episode we really had no choice but to bring back everyone's favourite gay guest host, Kyle Crawford! As usual, things get wild in the closet as secrets are shared and shames are revealed. Topics include being outed, butthole care, condom scares and butt babies, LGBT+ characters in media, breaking up in open relationships, and a bit of essence in your ice water.

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Episode 37 - Much Ado About Piss

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 04:59:53 GMT

We kick off Pride Month with an episode almost primarily about urine! They don't have anything to do with each other (unless, of course, you're into that sort thing), it's just the way it all shook out. We also get very heavy into Game of Thrones spoilers, so maybe don't listen to the last question about Emilia Clarke if you've somehow avoided spoilers this whole time. Topics include man pussies, butt plugs, explosive diarrhea, bed wetting, how to respond to nudes, a piss bath and how to deal with a fake Emilia Clarke.

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Episode 36 - Virginity Tight Five

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 04:45:23 GMT

Oh boy. This week Dain is deep in that cold medication high and Niall is still recovering from being blasted, Baja-style. We kind of blew up over night on Facebook and got flooded with messages by a certain kind of people looking for a certain kind of sexual service that we, in fact, do not provide. Topics include Facebook Message dramatic readings, how to undate someone, small-scale PDA consent, the threesome test, "She's All That"ing yourself, high sex drive insecurities and your virginity comedy set.

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Episode 35 - The "Science" of Nipples

Mon, 27 May 2019 06:28:10 GMT

Dain doesn't wanna brag, y'all, but he made it through an entire recording session without dropping his phone while Niall manages to stay alive while recovering from a weekend trip with the lads for a bachelor party. Topics include overthinking confidence, why game isn't taught, a slut in the sheets and a queen on the streets, World War III and a brand new segment!

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Episode 34 - Bum Jelly

Mon, 20 May 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Hey, friends. Have you got $100? Can we have it? We love you. Topics include baby-making possibilities on Tinder, dancing away from your problems, thicc or thick, nightly blowjobs, best friend Tinder photoshoot, gettin' those hands on those titties, and more.

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Episode 33 - Friend Brothel

Mon, 13 May 2019 07:26:25 GMT

The closet is less crowded this week as we've returned to the tried and true format of just two boys in the room bringing you the freshest dating and sex advice. Dain brings a much anticipated update on last week's introduction to Cooking with Ricardo and we both manage to not rant about how garbage Game of Thrones has gotten. Topics include karaoke introduction, TV boob jealousy, petrified goat orgasms, heartbroken dumper, fun and flirty sex friends, vagina snorkels, death and mistresses and what to do while your blasts her clit.

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Episode 32 - Gay Time Traveler (feat. Kyle Crawford)

Mon, 06 May 2019 06:55:03 GMT

We did it. They said we couldn't do it, but we did it. We fit exactly one more boy in this closet to host our very first guest on the show, Kyle Crawford! Ironically, it just so happens to be a gay man we've put back in the closet (don't worry, I'm pretty sure that's the only closet joke we made, surprisingly!). We've gotten a lot of questions we didn't feel comfortable answering, being straight men with absolutely no gay experience, so we've brought in a third-party expert to shed some light on some of the mysteries of gay dating culture. Topics include crusty spaghetti, the white lie escape, crushing on straight boys, landlord Grindr thief, the top/bottom meme dynamic.

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Episode 31 - Dick Tenderizer

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 06:49:19 GMT

This is the first episode in a few weeks that we don't go completely off-the-rails by the end of things and we're not too sure how we feel about that. This week we bring an exciting conclusion to #cumbox2019 and I promise you, you'll never guess how it all shakes out. Topics include ghosting but still orbiting, the first date hand-off, a dick like a leg and an orgasm like a pig, sneaky in-bed phone times, lookin' pretty and how to pick up men.

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Episode 30 - James McAvoy's Cumbox

Mon, 22 Apr 2019 04:22:21 GMT

420 blaze it, squad. We know we're a few days late, but we're hot-boxing the hell out of the closet and this week our advice isn't the only thing that's dank. We are 100% professional, crunchy weed boys and 100% aren't just trying to jump on this hype train. In all honesty, we're not high at all, but listening to this episode, you'd never know. Topics include choosing between two lovers, the no hook ups policy, romantic activities with your parents, creepy compliments, dating bad boys and a slanderous box of condoms.

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Episode 29 - Dry Mans and Plurbis

Mon, 15 Apr 2019 05:24:15 GMT

I feel like we say this a lot, but, man, this episode got away from us. We're still coming in hot with that advice you so desperately crave, but we're also coming at you with a whole lot of extras that I don't think anyone, including us, wanted. In this episode, we either revolutionize sex or ruin it forever. Topics include emotional bamboozling, being the weird kid, on the DL, next gen pudenda, cling envy, and rectum dining.

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Episode 28 - Red Flag Burrito

Mon, 08 Apr 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Hey friends! We hope you enjoyed our master prank for April Fool's! We're back to the show you know and love now and this week we're bringing you all levels of cringe. Topics include unprotected sex, the porn ban, the no cuddle policy, period sex, a bumpy penis and dead child turn-offs.

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New Guys - S03E01: All In

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 07:42:46 GMT

We finally got there, (one of) Dain's favourite episode(s)! We go 'ALL IN' to the season three premiere after the cliff-hanger ending of season two and start talking about our least favourite parts of the series, how Winston becomes Dain's favourite character and the downfall of Schmidt as well as all the big things to come. Grab your most difficult puzzle, a pile of almonds and let's do this episode as dirty as we can.

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Episode 27 - A Shitty Situation

Mon, 25 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Oh baby. Winter is over and Spring Fever has begun to set in. But don't you worry your frisky little minds because we're here to offer you another freshly grown heaping of dating and sex advice with a few bizarre trips to Tangent City thrown in for good measure. Topics include dating's fundamental misery, a poop-time visitor, Niall's CW teen drama debut, claiming virginity, genuine conversations, hook-up culture or common sense?

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Episode 26 - Unintentional Sploshing

Mon, 18 Mar 2019 15:17:26 GMT

We're back to our regularly scheduled podcasting! Last week we took a break from the usual format to celebrate 25 episodes, but now we've jumped right back into that dirty, sticky sex advice you crave. This week, for some reason, Dain's acting education saves the day. Dain's hungover and Niall just won't stop yelling, or at least, it feels like he's yelling. Is he yelling? Topics include after sex sheet wipe, revenge threesome, tongue exertion, shitty condom Houdini, ruined meat sheath, the phrase to finish him with.

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Episode 25 - Origin Story

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 06:45:21 GMT

Holy sweet hell, friends. We've made it to episode 25 and to celebrate we're poppin' bottles and taking a break from our usual format in order to address our favourite subject: ourselves! In this special episode, we talk about how we met, why and how we made the podcast, how we met our partners and some personal anecdotes that we hope will not make you hate us. But for real, thanks for listening! Here's to 25 more.

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Episode 24 - Dad Debacle

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

I know it's not Halloween, but this Momo challenge has got us spooked! Take your mind off of that wide-eyed monster and educate yourself with this week's hot offerings of dating and sex advice with frequent and lengthy trips to Tangent Town. Trigger warning to rat fans, things get a bit heated in this episode. Topics include seeking more from a one night stand, faking it, cute kitties and stupid rats, cavernous vaginas, the juiciest dad dilemma and how to get laid RIGHT NOW.

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Episode 23 - Totally Not A Dying Alien

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Niall enjoyed a few (and by few I mean ten) cocktails prior to recording and yet we still somehow managed to keep this train running! We revisit embarrassing stories thanks to listener submissions and pose a new question for us to laugh about. Topics include how to not sabotage yourself, teen marriage, online dating profile death mystery, dirty talk dyslexia and new city situations.

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Episode 22 - A Clandestine Sniff

Mon, 18 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

We're done with themed holiday episodes for awhile now and Dain couldn't be happier! And sure, we may have said that we were going to be brief (even quoted Shakespeare), but that doesn't mean that this episode isn't one of our longest ones yet. Don't worry, that just means we've jam packed it with the best dating and sex advice you can get for free. Topics include how to impress women like an idiot, being too "polite", why online dating matches are boring, what her PROBLEM is, simultaneous orgasms, round two wet noodle, moving on and the sweet scent of vagina.

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Episode 21 - Will You Pee My Valentine?

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Another holiday means another themed episode! In what could possibly be our most contentious episode to date, we butt heads on the significance of Valentine's Day and how to act during it. Topics include how soon is too soon for Valentine's Day celebrations, what to get your casual partner for Valentine's day, V-Day confessions, gifts for parents and a pee surprise!

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Episode 20 - Ass Treachery

Mon, 04 Feb 2019 06:38:46 GMT

We know. You're absolutely sick of hearing about the Super Bowl, Tom Brady and Adam Levine's nipples. Don't worry, your buddies have got you covered with a 100% Super Bowl free episode this week. Escape all of that big game chatter by catching up on the hottest sex advice available. Topics include ex-girlfriend dinner date, sext response, no cum/no problem, first date burn out, encouraging a screamer and the ass-blast cease fire.

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Episode 19 - The Baked Beans Betrayal

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In effort to divert menacing social media messages, we've made sure to get this episode to you in the promptest of fashions. We dive into a new bottle of whiskey this week and, keeping tradition, things get real weird. I mean, real weird. I mean weirder than that scene in 2004's rom-com hit, Shall We Dance, when Bobbie accosts Vern for sweating too much. Topics include loving yourself, first date sensitivity training, slip and slide sex positions, a shitty blowjob, the baked bean betrayal, finding your dance partner and being ready for a relationship.

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Episode 18 - Quit Horsin' Around!

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 16:21:51 GMT

It's the coldest day, probably ever, and we're here to keep you warm with our hottest sex advice. Coming off the howling wolf blood moon last night, we've got a collection of wild questions and we talk about the very topical Gillette commercial. Topics include the move-in transition, sibling blowjob interruption, what to do with a woman in your bed, the best a man can be, surviving horseplay, the metaphysical virgin, and a bloody surprise.

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Episode 16 - Always Go Full Daddy

Mon, 14 Jan 2019 08:04:44 GMT

Oh, baby. We cut the nonsense and get right into the dating and sex advice this week because it's 2019 and we're trying to be better podcast hosts. You know, except when Niall refuses to wear headphones and yells the entire episode. Topics include ghost Terrance Stamp porn, blueberry addiction, sabertooth lovebites, rebound relationships, that cowgirl grind, one night stand attempted murder, going full daddy and another rant about being cool about consent.

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Episode 15 - Lock N' Grind

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 05:00:24 GMT

New year, new pod! Dain comes in hot with the best addition to the podcast since we started buying better whiskey! Let's make this year of great sex and we're here to help you with everything you need to accomplish that. Topics include mafioso MILF, the age gap, break-up recovery, and the ineffective stick and swirl.

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Episode 14 - Johnny Wolf's Sweat Cave

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 07:49:16 GMT

So long, 2018! Ring in the New Year with your favourite buddies as we dish out this year's last servings of sexy knowledge to help you navigate the troubling time that is New Year's Eve. We're not going to lie, we barely answer any questions and spend more time detouring into Tangent City, but it's New Year's, we're full of whiskey and we're having a good time! Topics include the free flight surprise, being homo-kay with your gayness, the great New Year's orgy mystery, Dain's excellent solo New Year's adventure and the hot dumpster fire that is Riverdale.

Thank you so much for spending time with us this year, we promise to keep answering your questions and guiding you through anything 2019 throws your way. Happy New Year!

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Episode 13 - The Sexmas Spectacular!

Mon, 24 Dec 2018 05:01:00 GMT

Hello friends! It's Sexmas time in Tangent City and we're bringing you a brand new, extra long holiday special! We tackle all of your festive, sexy questions delivering up the holiest of advice. Have the safest and happiest of holidays from your two favourite wise men. Topics include Christmas party abandonment, the sweetest holiday first date, family time sexting, twinkle bondage, sexy gifts for men and the Ballad of Gay Daryl.

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Episode 12 - Cheese String Dick Leash

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 04:01:00 GMT

Hello, friends! This week, we are finally showing our true colours as absolute non-professionals by accidentally recording on our laptop mic instead of our real mic which means the audio quality is a little janky (especially for the first few minutes), but it does get a little better once we get to the questions. We figured a lower quality episode is better than no episode, so we apologize and we'll be back with our sweet, sweet voices next week. Topics include bad kisser training, rejection preparation, dick bondage, condom etiquette and orgy sustenance.

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Episode 11 - Sex Books

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 04:01:00 GMT

It's the most wonderful time... of the week. That's right! A brand new episode packed to the brim with all the dating and sex advice we're legally allowed to put into a single audio file. We also introduce a brand new segment to the show that will either arouse or upset you! Topics include pleasure guilt, the friend-zone, Tinder memorials, seasonal blues and when to take your shot.

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Episode 10 - Ham-Candle

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 04:01:00 GMT

We made it into the double digits! We celebrate by giving you more of the sex and dating advice you need, didn't know you needed and maybe didn't want. Topics include butt-grab defense force, how to learn her name (again), denying a second date and making man-meat sexy again.

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Episode 9 - Butt Paranoia

Mon, 26 Nov 2018 04:01:00 GMT

It's the day after Dain's birthday and not even that sweet birthday hangover can stop us from bring that deliciously dirty dating and sex advice that you so desperately need. Topics include pet names, the Tinder solution, trying force a relationship, dick snapping cowgirl and a shitty surprise.

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Episode 8 - Capoeira Time Paradox

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 05:20:13 GMT

Things go off the rails this week as we plow straight into Tangent City. It gets weird, it gets messy and we start to peel back the layers of our nemesis Dan's origin. Topics include a question follow-up, how to deal with the splash zone, the vegetable boner suppressant, male pregnancy and not having teenage sex.

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Episode 7 - Sweet Dick Energy

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 07:09:14 GMT

Dain survived a vicious caterpillar attack in New Orleans and has rejoined Niall to bring you hot, sticky, southern charm-filled advice. Grab yourself a glass of sweet tea and pull up a chair because we're here to solve all of your sexy troubles. Topics include slowing your roll, enhanced jerk-off stigma, the ballad of Chlamydia Claire and loving your dick.

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Episode 6 - Chronicles of Riddim: Squirm Protocol

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 04:01:00 GMT

Even when Dain is in New Orleans, the sex advice train cannot be stopped, unless you ask it to because consent is important. Topics include wild sex, the silent starfish and the least sexiest songs.

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Episode 5 - The Dickly Hallows

Mon, 29 Oct 2018 06:28:01 GMT

Carve your pumpkins, find a random profession to turn sexy, and get ready to sink your fangs into our Halloween Spooktacular! That's right, this week, just in time for everyone's favourite holiday, we're skipping the tricks and treating you to nothing but the best dating and sex advice on the Internet! Topics include the invincible Horcrux, conversations with strangers, semen fight club and a surprise guest visitor!

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Episode 4 - The Big Pick-Up Technique

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 20:13:29 GMT

With a mildly dated song in our heart, we come in hot this week with the most legal, freshest, and most importantly, the dankest dating and sex advice. Topics include solving the Tinder algorithm, one minute men, mystery relationships and the errors of dick to butt communication.

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Episode 3 - Playing Stevsie

Mon, 15 Oct 2018 01:49:00 GMT

Things get a little serious this episode when we turn the lens inward for a some self-reflection and discuss the darkest of days. Topics include making male friends, fuck buddies, anal instruments and the worst day in human history.

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Episode 2 - Infinite Sex Arms

Sat, 29 Sep 2018 21:52:00 GMT

We're back for round two! Ring the alarm because it's about to get dirrty. We take a trip to Sex City this episode and focus on all that good, nasty stuff. Topics include rescuing your wayward nudes, becoming a foreplay master and combating an uncooperative penis.

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Episode 1 - Meat Cubes and Meet Cuties

Sat, 29 Sep 2018 21:19:00 GMT

Our very first episode! We're here to take all of your sticky, sexy questions and turn them into sexy, sticky situations. Topics covered in this episode include ghosting, making a man feel sexy and whether or not you're wasting your time.

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